Alice Cooper for Rent, plus Meat Puppets, Chuck D. Mobile Phones, 50 Cent Phights Obesity, Record Labels Are Greedy and Dumb, TMQ Returns to ESPN

• Chill, my landlord: One afternoon with Alice Cooper worth a year of rent.
• About time, for Crissakes: Meat Puppets are reuniting.
• The revolution will be mobilized: Chuck D. has launched his own brand of mobile phones.
• That's with an "F": 50 Cent is a "spokes-rapper and judge for a nationwide cooking competition aimed at preventing childhood obesity by improving high school students' eating habits." (Why do they have to say "spokes-rapper"? They don't say "spokes-rocker.")
• The record labels hate you and don't want you to buy their products.
• Hey, look who's back! Not to put to fine a point on it, but he's my favorite football columnist and everyone's least favorite movie-industry critic.