George Bush: Blinded By Science

This is an unintentionally funny picture if you ask me.

Pop-Up Advancement: I Ain't Gonna Play Sun City

Major Advancement at 2:25.

Patti Smith: You Light Up My Life

Are you the female Mick Jagger?

Sting: He's Good Po-lice

So the Police played the Grammys last night as you all know, and now they're going to tour the world. I've been wrestling with the Sting issue for years (Super Advanced or terrible?), but now I've really, really decided that Sting is Advanced and that I've been a fool to deny the greatness of his solo work. If I could convince someone to pay for all the records, I'd like to sit down one day and listen to all his solo albums in chronological order. I would be in such a state of Advancement, I don't even want to think about it. Incidentally, the band sounded pretty great, I thought. And I really enjoyed that weird little Sting-ified bit in the middle, much to my surprise. Another thought: Physical fitness might be a part of Advancement. After all, most Advanced Artists are in great shape. Must be all that martial arts practice. I'll have to think on it for a while, as Omar from "The Wire" would say.

(By the way, Sting looks ecstatic in this picture, doesn't he?)

Artimus Pyle's Album, Hatred of Pro Tools

From a press release:

The man who kept the beat on such all-time southern rock classics as "Saturday Night Special," "Gimme Back My Bullets," "That Smell," and "What's Your Name" is back with one of his finest solo albums yet, 'Artimus Venomous.' In an era where 'Pro Tools perfection' is the key for most rock bands, Pyle turns back the clock to a time when rock bands truly rocked – with actual fingers on fretboards, sticks on drums, and little else between what the mics picked up and what wound up on tape.

And in addition to being one heck of a drummer (just about every southern rock drummer post-1975 has purposely or inadvertently borrowed a thing or two from his work with Skynyrd) Pyle possesses one heck of a classic rock voice, as he provides lead vocals throughout most of 'Artimus Venomous.' Standout tracks include the title cut, "Knock Me Down," and the gloriously titled " Blood Sucking Weasel Attorneys."

You know who uses Pro Tools? Blood Sucking Weasel Attorneys.

Patti Smith Covers the Allman Brothers and More

Another lovely friend of Advancement sent me a press release that is pretty awesome:

"Columbia Records will release Twelve,the eagerly-anticipated album of 'cover' [I'm glad they put that in quotes. -JH] versions of classic popular songsnewly interpreted by the 2007 Rock & Roll Hall of Fame inductee PattiSmith, on Tuesday, April 17. Twelve is Patti Smith's first album of new studio recordings sincetrampin', her Columbia Records debut, was released in 2004, and is theartist's first-ever full-length collection of songs originally created byother performers. On Twelve, Patti Smith and her band -- Lenny Kaye (guitar), Jay DeeDaugherty (drums) and Tony Shanahan (bass, keyboards) -- work their magicon a surprising selection of classic songs and overlooked treasures fromthe rock & roll canon including 'Pastime Paradise' by Stevie Wonder,' Everybody Wants To Rule The World' by Tears for Fears and 'Helpless' byNeil Young. Also on Twelve, Smith and company interpret songs by JimiHendrix, Bob Dylan, the Doors, Nirvana, Jefferson Airplane, the Beatles,the Rolling Stones, the Allman Brothers, and Paul Simon.

An assortment of guest artists appear with Patti on Twelve includingItalian cellist Giovanni Sollima; playwright Sam Shepard (with whom Patti collaborated on "Cowboy Mouth" in 1971) on banjo; early 60s GreenwichVillage folk artists John Cohen (banjo) and Peter Stampfel (fiddle); RedHot Chili Peppers' bassist Flea; Television guitarist Tom Verlaine; the Black Crowes' Rich Robinson on slide guitar and dulcimer; and hip-hop producer Luis Resto (Eminem) on keyboards. Patti's son, Jackson, anddaughter, Jesse, are on-hand to contribute guitar and vocal respectively."

Have Patti Smith and Prince been talking? You know, I've always thought Patti Smith was about as Overt as you can get, but this is a pretty bold statement of Advancement. I'll have to hear the record for myself, but I'm pretty excited. The inclusion of a hip-hop producer is a particularly nice touch.

Chris Isaak on Ice

Here's something surprising:

"Disson Skating brings Kleenex Fashion on Ice, with special guests Frederique and Chris Isaak, to the Sovereign Bank Arena on Friday, December 1. Frederique van der Wal, one of the most recognizable faces in the modeling world will be the host of the night, while skaters show off the hottest fashions of today. Chris Isaak, who's best known for his hit song 'Wicked Game,' will supply the music for the models to strut their stuff to. "

He's going to put the "ice" in Isaak! I'll never forget when I first heard "Blue Hotel" on Late Night With David Letterman. I was entranced by both the song and his shiny suit. I've loved him ever since, and now I love him even more.

Advanced Video: Prince's Super Bowl Press Conference

A friend of Advancement wrote to alert me of this press-conference video. I think you'll like very much Prince's answer to the first question.

Update: Another friend of Advancement, Leanne, notes that it was particularly Advanced of Prince to play a Foo Fighters cover. I didn't realize that he played a Foo Fighters song, but she is so right!

Prince a God?

So did Prince make it rain at the Super Bowl? Does he have that power? I wouldn't put it past him. The bigger question is Why did he feel like he needed to do covers? Of course, we know the answer to that: He is Advanced. I liked mostly everything about his performance, especially his starting with the "We Will Rock You" drums. I know when I think of Prince, I think of Queen.

Prince always has the best sounding guitar. It has a sort of Jimi Hendrix quality, but it still sounds modern. It was a bit high in the mix, but when a guy can play like that, I'm not going to complain. I loved that he started with a regular Telecaster and ended with the purple Phallicaster. I particular appreciated his trick of projecting himself in profile to a flowing sheet. Napoleon invented that, by the way. Also, and somewhat related, does anyone move better in heels? He should be a model coach if you ask me. He could make lots of money that way. I was also glad to see that he protected his hair from the rain.

I can't think of anything else to say about his performance. It was everything I thought it would be, plus CCR. Now onto to daydreaming out the Police reunion...

Manute Bol

Yes, two people had the same idea. Have a good time this weekend watching the Super "Bol"!

Harry Chapin's Gory Story Song: "Sniper"

Thanks to Pandora, I discovered the positively Meatloafian "Sniper" by Harry Chapin (like Columbus discovered America I guess, because I would imagine there are aboriginal Chapin fans who have known this song for years), and I have to say it was an extremely Advanced listening experience. Chapin wasn't Advanced, of course, but to listen to that whole song is a highly Advanced exercise. Here are some of the lyrics:

"I didn't really know him.
He was kind of strange.
Always sort of sat there.
He never seemed to change.
He reached the catwalk.
He put down his burden.
The four sided clock began to chime.
Seven AM, the day is beginning.
So much to do and so little time.
He looks at the city where no one had known him.
He looks at the sky where no one looks down.
He looks at his life and what it has shown him.
He looks for his shadow it cannot be found.
He was such a moody child, very hard to touch.
Even as a baby he never smiled too much.
No no.
No no.
You bug me, she said.
You're ugly, she said.
Please hug me, I said.
But she just sat there with the same flat stare
That she saves for me alone
When I'm home.
When I'm home.
Take me home.

He laid out the rifles, he loaded the shotgun,
He stacked up the cartridges along the wall.
He knew he would need them for his conversation.
If it went as it he planned, then he might use them all.
He said Listen you people I've got a question
You won't pay attention but I'll ask anyhow.
I found a way that will get me an answer.Been waiting to ask you 'till now.
Right now !
Am I ?
I am a lover who's never been kissed.
Am I ?
I am a fighter who's not made a fist.
Am I ? If I'm alive then there's so much I've missed.
How do I know I exist ?
Are you listening to me ?
Are you listening to me ?
Am I ?"

I wonder how many people had to die to inspire this song? In any case, you should have a listen and see how Advanced you feel afterward.

Brian Eno and Coldplay

Pretty Advanced of Brian Eno to produce Coldplay's next record, though I'm guessing that he won't be doing this one pro bono. (Though you can't see me, I'm giving you my "get it?" look.)

Sixx and the City: Single and Fabulous

A few thoughts from the no-longer-too-young-to-fall-in-love Nikki Sixx from blabbermouth:

"Sitting here soaking up the love of my kids, all I can think about is how everybody in the house laughs a lot, a lot more than i can remember in a long time. Yes, it's different being a single dad and having a career, but different in a better way. I have a lot more to do daily and I take it very serious. I've not found anybody worthy of really dating and that's OK by me… My kids come first, then my career and last my social life… I can live without the last two but not the first. So on I trudge.

"On the musical front, DJ Ashba [ex-BEAUTIFUL CREATURES guitarist], James Michael and myself are hard at work on the music and recording of 'The Heroin Diaries' [a book drawn from Nikki's 1986 and '87 journals, when he was in the throes of a heroin addiction]. The soundtrack for the book will come out at the same time as the book. No firm release date yet, but I imagine September (don't hold me to that). It is 'not' a solo album, but an experimental musical journey. It goes everywhere an anywhere. All I can say is expect the unexpected. The trip is weird, from Danny Elfman's ghoulish arrangements, singer-songwriter story-telling to open-ended rock… theatrical comes to mind.

"This is freedom and a journey with no real expectations… We don't talk radio, charts or boundaries… We just talk 'feel.' We are feeling our way through the project. There is one feeling I will share with you all, the feeling that I've fallen back in love with music…

"My life is so full and continues go grow…"

How did we ever survive without rock-star online diaries?

Manute Bol

A little Manute Bol to get your weekend started.

David Lee Roth Reunites With Van Halen

According to Billboard, 40 ampitheaters just got a little more awesome:

"Sources tell Billboard.com a contract could be signed as soon as today for Live Nation to produce a 40-date amphitheatre tour by Van Halen this summer, with original frontman David Lee Roth back in the fold for the first time in more than 20 years. As previously reported, guitarist Eddie Van Halen's 15-year-old son Wolfgang has stepped in for original bassist Michael Anthony in the new incarnation of the group, which also features drummer Alex Van Halen."

One thing I don't get is why Michael Anthony won't be there. One thing I do get is why they need a boy (or castrato) to fill in for him. Here's Diamond Dave's take on it: "To me, it's not rocket surgery. It's very simple to put together. And as far as hurt feelings and water under the dam, like what's-her-name says to what's-her-name at the end of the movie 'Chicago' -- 'So what? It's showbiz!'"

Get Busy Spinning or Get Busy Dying

This picture is from the New York Times. I'm pretty sure it's an article about that time Andy Dufresne played music over the loudspeakers at the Shawshank Prison. Actually it's a picture accompanying an article about the recent "crackdown" on Mixtape CDs. What's wild is that it's a picture of a record, but the article is about mixtape CDs. But really, I just think it's a silly picture.

Lou Reed: New York City Meat Packing District Man

This is a nice photo of what looks to be a rehearsal of the recent Berlin revival (is that the term?) that I saw. And for those of you whose eyes are drifting, that is a youth choir behind him.

The picture was sent to me by the very thoughtful Goldenfiddle. It's okay to be jealous and NSFW.

Salon Gets Advanced

Speaking of Joe Walsh, Salon's Audiofile is now the domain of a recently discovered Friend of Advancement and James Gang fan. I've always appreciated Audiofile (it's nice to get a little treat every day, even if you don't absolutely love the song), and now I have even more reason to.

The Joe Walsh Argument for Advancement

I'm constantly thinking about ways to make people understand (and agree with) the Advanced Theory. Here's something: An Advanced Artist is like a song that you loved but played so many times you stopped loving it. The song is still great, but you've just gotten tired of it. Advanced Artists have long careers, so it would make sense that even their biggest fans would mistake their fan fatigue (or even critics' fatigue) for a decline of skill in the artist. In other words, everybody's so different, they haven't changed.

The Champagne Jam Problem

As I was listening to one of my Pandora stations (the one I've called Lou Reed), I was reminded of something that I'd like to share with the five of you left still reading my blog. When you are listening to a customized station that takes your recommendations into account when deciding what to play, there is a hidden danger. Even though you might like a song, you might not like other songs like it. For instance, if a Pink Floyd song comes on my Lou Reed station, I have to skip it, even if I like it because of the various horrors that I would be letting into the station (like Queensryche, for instance). I guess that danger isn't so hidden, but while debating inside my head whether to accept a song from Physical Graffiti, I thought of the opposite phenomenon that occurs on the radio. When you're in an unfamiliar town and you're flipping around the dial for a station you can live with, you might choose a station that is playing a song you hate, say "Champagne Jam" (damn you ARS), because it suggests that the station will be playing things that you like. This is all seeming much less profound to me as I write it than when I was thinking it. But it is fun to think of all the terrible songs out there that make me stop turning the dial because I can guess that the next song will probably be "Heartbreaker," with "Living Loving Maid" attached if I'm lucky.

Now here's a Philco Brothers problem. What to do with this spot-on Ween cover of "Champagne Jam"? Just love it, I guess. The thing is, though, after listening to the Ween version, I realize how I'm not taking my own advice and loving the original version. So I officially now enjoy "Champagne Jam." The beauty of the Advanced Theory is that it makes it possible for you to love something you think you hate, which opens you up to new worlds of musical enjoyment. I guess you could say that the Atlanta Rhythm Section were all shadows of the waxwing slain.

I Dream of Paul Stanley

I ride up to Paul Stanley's Tuscan-style villa, greeted by him, his wife (Erin), and his two boys. "We enjoy entertaining," he says to me, "but we don't go out." I smile appreciatively, looking over his 9000-square-foot home, perched high in the hills. "There's no Viper Room. For us, it's the diaper room," he adds, and we all laugh the tired laugh of new parents. We walk past the outdoor fountains and column-lined loggia that blend into the landscape, and I look out onto the view of the Pacific. "It's so much like Europe," Paul notes, "that you'd be fighting what's natural in the terrain to build something else." Inside, I'm taken aback by the hand-painted frescoes that abound, especially the one in the dining room depicting celestial gods and goddesses among the clouds. "Tiepolo," he says, not needing to say more. Colin, their four-month-old, smiles up at his father, who meets the child's gaze but speaks to me: "There's something comfortable about being in a place that has a soul." The star that frames his eye is perfect.


Wait, that was no dream, it was a USA Today article featured in Blabbermouth.net.

Weiland's Open Letter to Charlie Weiss: Where You Going With That Facemask I Found

Here it is:

"Okay Charlie, at this point I am going to assume that you haven't spoken to the Giants' organization about their 'potential coaching job.' But LEAVING NOTRE DAME, your alma mater, without having achieved really anything of monolithic proportions like you've promised us, is absurd and unfair. So at this point, I will get on my knees and beg. Don't do it, coach. Don't do it! Stay and do what you promised; your team, your school, the fans, the legacy deserves to be taken to the promised land. Your recruits, Charlie, who are just beginning to trickle in, came to play for you. You! Not someone else and they are coming to South Bend to those brutal winters from places all over the country — from the South to Southern Cal, just to be led to the promised land. Jimmy Clausen, the most highly recruited player in high school football, committed to Notre Dame. When asked why in a recent interview, he said to play for coach Weis and get a new environment. Why? The promised land, the crown jewel, the national championship. But we can't start talking about Notre Dame in the same breath as a national championship yet. You've gotta win one. The team's gotta go out there and get one. We, the Irish nation, fight for it with you together and we will all win one together and walk away to the promised land together.

"Yours truly, Scott Weiland, rock n' roll singer, STONE TEMPLE PILOTS, VELVET REVOLVER, legacy and Notre Dame football fan."

There was a day many years ago where I came to the realization that I loved STP. Even now I want to qualify that in some way, but the plain truth is that they wrote a lot of great rock songs. One night my friend Andrew and I sat down and listened to all their records in a row, then watched Starship Troopers in the theater. It was a wonderful night. Anyway, it's good to see that Scott Weiland is so passionate about his football.

Bad Blogger

Sorry I haven't been posting much, but my busy-ness at my business should calm down soon. Luckily, the amazing Chandler, my new favorite Argonaut, has done a remarkable job of spreading the word about Advancement on her MySpace blog. Dismissing MySpace is Overt, by the way. It's always interesting to see how the Advanced Theory is interpreted, and her blog entry is no exception. I'll try to get back to blogging soon so she won't show me up!

Bryan Ferry's Dylan Covers Record: Advancedesque

Bryan Ferry really wants us to believe he is Advanced:

"According to Roxyrama, an unofficial but authoritative fan site dedicated to Ferry and Roxy Music, EMI will release Dylanesque sometime in March. Although no track list has been officially confirmed, songs interpreted by Ferry for Dylanesque reportedly include 'All Along The Watchtower,' 'Just Like Tom Thumb's Blues,' 'Simple Twist Of Fate' and 'The Times They Are A-Changin',' among others."

Here's the full track list:

"Just Like Tom Thumb's Blues"
"Simple Twist Of Fate"
"Make You Feel My Love"
"The Times They Are A-Changin'"
"All I Really Want To Do"
"Knockin' On Heaven's Door"
"Positively 4th Street"
"If Not For You"
"Baby, Let Me Follow You Down"
"Gates Of Eden"
"All Along The Watchtower"

Ferry is one of those borderline Advanced cases. I'm not totally convinced his role in Roxy Music qualifies him, but maybe someone out there can prove it to me. Whatever the case the concept and, especially, the title of the record are amazing.

Police Reunion in the Works?

Let's get the year started with a nice rumor:

"Sources told Billboard.com the reports -- in the British press [of a Police reunion]-- were legitimate, but they would not publicly comment until final details are nearer to completion.
This year marks the 30th anniversary of the release of 'Roxanne,' the single that broke the Police in the United States. In a statement issued last month, A&M Records said, 'It is our intention to mark the anniversary by doing something special with the band's catalog of songs. Needless to say, everyone is hopeful the band will support our plans and while early discussions have taken place, nothing has been decided.'"

A reunion would be a good test of the "Is Sting Super Advanced or Just Terrible" question. Or maybe it wouldn't, now that I think about it. After all, if they turn into a lite-jazz band, then you could say that Sting ruined them, but you could also say that Sting made the other guys great back in the day. Oh, Sting, your case is so upsetting.

Happy New Year

I have very little time to post these days, but soon things will settle down and I can get back to Advanced business!

Jason

Jackpot: Paul Shaffer Does Cher Does O Holy Night

It's just the audio, but boy is it gratifying. Have a listen. Hey, I just found it on video.

Merry Christmas!

Lou Reed at St. Ann's Warehouse: A Review

I'd love to believe you've all been waiting for my review of the Berlin concert (or that there is an "all" out there reading this), but I've been too upset about the Allen Iverson situation to write. Now that he is snuggled safely in Denver, I can finally put my mind to the important work of telling you what I thought. As "Sad Song" came to a close, I considered rushing home to the computer and writing: It Kicked Ass. But now that I've had all this time to think about it, I can't leave it at that. So let's start with before the show began:

When we passed the bar, we heard the music play. And the music was, of course, Lou Reed. It was a song I didn't recognize, but I'm familiar with it now because it was played on a loop for nearly a half hour. There was a scrim in front of the stage onto which was projected various images of waves in what looked like a tropical climate. That's what I always think of when I hear Berlin: the beach. Anyway, the music and imaged looped over and over, and as I got more excited, I almost wished the show would have been already finished so I could start remembering it. Just as I got back to my (assigned) seat after racing to the bathroom for the second time (two beers), the lights went down. Lucky thing, too, because had I been late, I wouldn't have been allowed in the room until after the first song was over. That's what happens when you go see someone Advanced.

Julian Schnabel pretended to be humble as he said a few words about his relationship with the record, dragging his hand through his hair to show how nonchalant he was about the whole thing. We all pretended to care, and he went away. The scrim came up.

I was expecting costumes and other Advanced features, but the only theatrical element to the show was the film projected behind them, which you could barely see. That was nice. Everyone in the band dressed as if they were just playing at their practice space. I've noticed that Lou Reed has embraced a toned down Advancement, style-wise, which makes sense, as Advancement is all about doing what is comfortable for the artist and uncomfortable for everyone else. To the right (stage left) were four horn players, a pianist, and Fernando Saunders, who played regular bass and Advanced bass (stand-up fretless electric). There was also a roving cellist. Upstage in the center back was the drummer, protected by an Advanced clear plastic wall. Reed was front and center, of course. To his left was another bass player (Advanced variety), two back-up singers (one African-American woman--an Advanced necessity--and Antony). Behind them was a youth chorus, who seemed to enjoy themselves. And now the music.

It took the band a couple of songs to get their act together. They were good, but a little ragged. Reed was reading the lyrics off of something from time to time, and it felt a little like watching a favorite actor on SNL reading the cue cards just a little too obviously. But then they all settled down, and he started playing with the lyrics. I'm sure you've heard him do this: He waits to deliver the expected line just to the point where you think he won't be able to squeeze it in, then hastily throws it out there, seeming arhythmically. I know that must frustrate the musicians, but Advanced artists always enjoy playing tricks on the band to keep them on their toes (Chuck Berry, Bob Dylan, James Brown, Elvis, etc.). He still can sing when he wants, and in this environment he almost had to because otherwise he would have clashed with the kids' chorus. Of course, "oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, what a feeling" went down instead of up, but it worked nicely.

Signs of Advancement were few, but there were some rockin' solos that might have offended the delicate ears of the Overt. Luckily, that's not us.

Like I said, it took a while for the band to really get going (though I still had chills most of time), things really got going on "How Do You Think It Feels." The band was very precise, and the sound was overwhelming. Actually, I should say a word about "Caroline Says (I)," particularly the chorus. They did an amazing job on the backup vocals, sounding quite a bit like the record. It was fun to close your eyes during this show, by the way. Anyway, the band got more and more precise, perhaps due to the conductor, who at first appeared to be in a lab coat (it was actually just a long coat that matched the chorus). It was during this song that Reed gave his first "I am the master of rock and roll, and if you don't believe listen to this" look.

I don't care for Oh, Jim very much because I'm not Advanced enough I guess. But it won't be hard for you to believe that this seemed to be his favorite song to play. He traded solos with his guitarist, encouraged the backup singers to trade scats with him, and generally just romped around. I enjoyed it, but I didn't like it. But that just made the next number, "Caroline Says (II)" all the better. It was more like a dramatic reading of the song, and it's possible the song nearly brought him to tears (it did me). When I imagined this concert, I dared not hoped it would be as good as this song. And then it got better.

"The Kids" was almost too much to take. This was the song that made me love Berlin several years ago and to hear that bass line live shattered me. Also, to hear him, the actual Lou Reed, singing "I am the water boy" was like hearing Abraham Lincoln giving the Gettysburg Address. The children crying out (which made me want to go give my baby a hug) was prerecorded, but the out-of-tune flute solo was played live. They reproduced the feel of the album perfectly, only it was even more intense.

On a normal album, "The Kids" might be the high point, but no, no, no, there was "The Bed." I'm starting to run out of steam in my review, so there's no way I can do this justice. But if you like this song and didn't go to the concert, you are very jealous of me right now. The chorus did and absolutely amazing job on this one, mimicking the record with eerie exactitude. Lou Reed looked over at them proudly as their voices floated down over the end of the song and into the introduction of the finale, "Sad Song":

It Kicked Ass.

Rufus Wainwright and Lou Reed: Advancement at Carnegie Hall

I have an Advanced spy who had a spy at Advanced-Aspirant Rufus Wainwright's Christmas concert at Carnegie Hall. Here's the second-hand report, as reported by the third hand, me:

"I'm getting reports that Rufus Wainwright's xmas concert at Carnegie Hall was an advanced fest last night, including a 'White Christmas' duet withLou Reed- after Lou did a feedback guitar accompanied 'Silent Night'.Wow.Oh, he was also wearing slippers...."

Like I said, not liking Christmas is Overt. I think Rufus Wainwright was sort of born into Advancement, but I'll have to think that one over. I wonder if he'll show up in the staging of Berlin? Did I mention I'll be at that show tomorrow?

More Lou Reed Berlin Talk From the New York Times

There's a lot of overlapping from the article in the previous post, but the Times guy writes better. Here are some highlights:

"Lou Reed refers to it with an understatement that borders on dismissal. 'It was just another one of my albums that didn’t sell,' he said dryly at a West Village cafe recently. But get him talking a little — and a little talk is all one can expect from Lou Reed — and it becomes clear that Berlin, his bleak, Brechtian song cycle from 1973, which he is performing in full for the first time at St. Ann’s Warehouse in Brooklyn for four nights beginning tomorrow, is a treasured high point in a what has been a lifelong project of pushing at the aesthetic boundaries of rock ’n’ roll.

'It’s a great album,' he said. (He has also called it a masterpiece.) 'I admire it. It’s trying to be real, to apply novelists’ ideas and techniques into a rock format.' He mentioned William S. Burroughs, Hubert Selby Jr., Allen Ginsberg and Raymond Chandler as literary models.
'But it sounds so pretentious saying that.' he added.' It just sounds too B.A. in English. Which I have. So there you go.'”

Doesn't everyone have a BA in English? There's lots more, of course, so read the whole article. One thing though, a friend once asked me if there was an example of a project that an Advanced Artist did after they became Advanced that was rejected at first but then was accepted only after many years. I'd say Berlin falls into that category, though there is a lot of Overtness still in that record. Did I mention I can't wait until Friday?

Lou Reed Talks "Berlin" and Lots of Other Stuff

There's a great article about Lou Reed at Stuff.co.nz that you should check out. It's title: "A Walk on the Wild Side With Lou Reed." My lord that's awesome! Anyway, here are a few bits:

"Over the course of the interview, Reed proves erudite, charming and just a little eccentric. His legendary prickliness surfaces only when he bluntly tells his publicist, at one point, to get lost. In a deep, lazy drawl he chats about everything from rap music ("'it's white kids getting off listening to a fantasy black person with a big gangsta life') to the loss of privacy brought about by technology ('Never save anything. You go to YouTube and you'll find more than you ever thought if you left anything around. That's why now, in studios, I erase everything. They can't release the out-takes because there aren't any'); from auteur director Robert Wilson ('Bob and I are like a hand in a glove, and that's because we're both very aware of Andy, the master. Everybody got something from Mr Warhol') to his lifelong passion, tai chi ('Boy, I wish I could bring [Master Ren, his long-time teacher] when I go to Australia').

The writer suggested that Berlin might have gone over better these days, and here's what Reed had to say:

"I mean with gangsta rap now, with its bitches and whores getting stabbed, and I'll shoot your dick off and run you over with a Mack truck, and even with country and western - I stabbed him in a park because he cheated on me - I don't know, would Berlin make more sense now? I have no idea.

"Still, I was there first, in an uncharted land that no one wanted. I was there and I had it all to myself ... That kind of stuff, what you'd call hardcore, almost made it so I couldn't make other records. You didn't know what to expect from me and that's why I've never been big. I was always on the outside."

There's a lot more, including talk of the staging of Berlin and how much everyone hated it when it came out. Of course, this is the classic example of Advancement because everybody knows how awesome that record is. Also, erasing all your outtakes is a perfect Advanced Irritant move. I really can't wait unitl Friday!

Prince at the Super Bowl

It was only a matter of time:

"Following in the footsteps of such mega-acts as the Rolling Stones and Paul McCartney, Prince is set to be the star performer for the Pepsi Super Bowl XLI Halftime Show, airing live on CBS Feb. 4 from Miami's Dolphin Stadium. The big news was unveiled Sunday, during the Eye network's NFL Today and comes three days after His Purpleness grabbed five Grammy nominations for his new release, 3121, including Best R&B Album, Best Male R&B Vocal Performance and Best R&B Song."

So when will we see Lou Reed at the Super Bowl? I guess when New York hosts the Super Bowl he'll be part of the show.

A Request for Paul Shaffer's Cher at Christmas

I've been looking forever for a video of Paul Shaffer impersonating Cher singing "O Holy Night." If you can find it, please let me know! (I would settle for the sheet music for "Yeah!".)

Johnny Cash's 'God's Gonna Cut You Down," Starring Everybody

Check out Justin Timberlake's tribute to Johnny Cash.

Win a Guitar Signed by Bob Dylan

Slate must be looking for traffic becuase they're running a contest for which the grand prize is a guitar signed by Bob Dylan. All you have to do is watch the video for "Thunder on the Mountain" and answer 20 questions. The tiebreaker "calls upon contestants to summon their inner Bobs and craft one four-line, 12-bar blues lyric, to be sung to the tune of 'Thunder on the Mountain.'" I wish I were the judge for that one, as I would imagine the entries would be pretty fascinating.

Questioning the Boss

I love Bruce Springsteen and all, but recently I heard "Born in the USA" and I thought to myself, "I'm not so sure I agree with the Boss's aesthetic decisions." And that goes for almost everything he ever did, except Nebraska and "Born to Run." Now that I look at that written before me, I'm embarrassed that I have such Overt opinions. I guess I'm going to have to bury myself in Bruce until I see the Advanced light. (As a side note, I'm not so sure I agree with Eric Burden's lyrical decisions.)

David Bowie and Cher Medley

Unspeakably Advanced.

Flaming Lips Get a Street, UK Copyrights, Olivia Newton John: You're the One (million) I Want, Mashups Are Boring Now, Buy the King's Ring

• The Flaming Lips are going to have a street named after them in their hometown in Oklahoma, which will be confusing because there's already a Flaming Pie street.
• Paul McCartney and Robbie Williams are trying to get an extension on the British copyright for their music. I wouldn't worry too much about it, Robbie. (JK, RW!)
• Olivia Newton John is suing over Grease royalties. The accountant in charge of royalties has a good excuse, though: He got chills when multiplying.
• UK Chancellor Gordon Brown says mashups are the future. Suddenly mashups don't seem so cool anymore.
• Elvis Presley's wedding ring is up for auction. Do you get the sense that someone in the Presley camp is in charge of figuring out what year they will be able to sell his bones?
  

Dunkin' Chic

As you may remember, I predicted that Dunkin' Donuts will soon lose the "donuts" part of their name, just like Kentucky Fried Chicken became KFC. Well, tonight I saw a commercial tonight celebrating their latte, called the Dunkin' Latte. My guess is that by Thanksgiving, they will call themselves just Dunkin' and use a slogan like "We're more than just donuts" in an attempt to get more of the Starbucks crowd. The question is, will they also use "Sweet Home Alabama" as their theme song? Also, as you might expect, this whole post is an excuse to use the headline "Dunkin' Chic."

All Robert Smith Wants for Christmas Is a Cure for Writer's Block

Robert Smith has writer's block, but don't worry Cure fans:

"Thirty years in the music business is no prevention for writers' block. That is the problem facing the Cure frontman Robert Smith, who is struggling to come up with lyrics to some of the 33 new songs the band has recorded for its 14th studio album. The record's release has already been pushed back to May and the group goes on tour in March, so the pressure is on for the 47-year-old, who does not want to his legacy to be an aging band that gradually fades into the background.'I want them (the words) to mean something, it's not enough that they rhyme,' Smith told Reuters in a recent interview. "I find myself stopping short and thinking I've done this before, and better. 'I've given myself a deadline to finish the words before Christmas.'"

Christmas is an Advanced deadline for Smith to give himself. Doesn't he know that the Cure are supposed to be gloomy, while Christmas is cheerful? One might expect a Halloween deadline, but not Christmas. Overt Cure fans would probably be surprised that Christmas is even a part of his reality, but we all know better than that. And speaking of Christmas, hating it is Overt, as is complaining that Christmas ads appear before Thanksgiving.

Velvet Underground Acetate up for Auction

A while back I wrote about the lucky guy who bought a Velvet Underground acetate (for the Nico album) for 75 cents at a record fair. Well, now he's doing what any music lover would do: He's putting it up for auction. Apparently it includes five tracks that are the same as the album, but "Heroin," "I'm Waiting for the Man," "European Son," and "Venus in Furs" are different. Wouldn't it be great if the different versions were in the style of Rock and Roll Animal? At any rate, the bidding is now at $130,000, so if you want to give it to me for Christmas, you might want to find some people to help you pay for it.

Buck Owens and "Japanese" Advancement

A friend of mine wrote me an email that I'd like to share with you:

"So listening to Buck Owens 'made in japan' it occurred to me that one of myfavorite music tropes is having the guitar do a version of 'that japaneseguitar part on the b and e strings' in an otherwise non-eastern sounding song. Similar to the 'knocking' of the snare in a song when the vocals mention a knock on the door, but cooler."

He wondered if besides being cooler than the knocking, whether that guitar part is Advanced. Obviously it depends on the context, but it is definitely one of the few musical tricks that is more Advanced the knocking-on-the-door snare. Plus, the "Eastern" guitar part has the advantage of being potentially offensive. Of course, the most Advanced trick is probably the "hey sexy" whistle guitar in "The Joker," which could be offensive to half the population (though it isn't). I'd like to hear a song with the "Eastern" thing, a door knocking (or would that be a gong?), and a "hey sexy" whistle.

Neil Diamond: Ay, There's the Rubin

Neil Diamond has overcome the coding fiasco that was "12 songs" and is headed back to the studio with Rick Rubin:

"While an album of covers or another album of originals have both been discussed, Rubin says it's too early in the process to know which way it will go. 'It depends on how long the writing process takes,' he says. 'I thought if it's going to take a while to write, it might be fun to do a covers album in between, but we'll see. The material is going to dictate everything.'"

Speaking of covers records, I watched a movie about Bob Dylan's life after his motorcycle crash but before his conversion to Christianity (becoming religious is Advanced), and there was some interesting stuff about the covers record he did. One critic said that it was almost as if Dylan had made it with the intention of disappointing his fans. I loved that, of course. Another critic said that Dylan put together a tour that was inspired by a Neil Diamond concert he saw.

I don't think anyone my age or younger truly understands Neil Diamond, but he sure does write a good reggae song. One other question: When did he become the voice of Christmas?

The Les Paul Meets Nintendo NES

This is a pretty great hacked guitar. How awesome would it be to be playing RBI Baseball and playing along with the music at the same time?! (See more pictures.) One other thing, you should really check out Very Little Known Facts. The post about hedge funds is too great to be believed.

Lou Reed's Live "Berlin" Update: Now With Chanteuse!

As you know, Lou Reed will be staging Berlin in December. Here's some new info about the event:

"French actress Emmanuelle Seigner has been chosen to appear in a film to be screened on stage during the concerts, to feature the entire album which tells the story of two fictional drug addicts in love in the German city of the same name.

She will play the role of Caroline in the film, made by Lola Schnabel, whose father Julian, American designer, painter and director, will be in charge of the stage setting and artistic coordination.

"Five new pieces are also on the musical line-up...."

I am so excited about this. By the way, Britt, the cofounder of the theory will be there with me, so look for us. We'll be the ones with the "Lou's Number One" foam oversize fingers. The good thing about this concert is that it will be either traditionally awesome or Advanced. Either way, we can't lose!

The Brian Eno Nokia Cell Phone

Check it out (from Let's Go Digital):

"[T]he Nokia 8800 Sirocco Edition consists of two variants - light and dark, the light inspired by the hot, dry air mass, the dark by the cooler, humid one. And as it blows, the powerful sirocco makes its own unique sound - a composition from nature caused by two air masses colliding. With nature as his inspiration, Brian Eno, the world renowned music composer and ambient music innovator, has created a unique 'sonic texture' that is organic and highly evolved."

I'm still going to be mad if it goes off during a movie.

John Wayne's America: You Ask Me Why I Love Her?

This was the signoff for WIS channel 10 in Columbia, which was the greatest channel in the world. But the reason I'm posting this is becuase of John Wayne's amazing narration over "America the Beautiful" (it starts about a minute in, after Mr. Columbia, Joe Pinner, does his duty). For me, it will always be the soundtrack of a child's disappointment that TV was done for another day. Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

Lee Hazelwood: Very Advanced

I have been listening to Lee Hazelwood's Cake or Death (apparently Warren Zevon is naming other people's albums from the grave), which I think might be the most Advanced record of the year. You will hardly believe the Bach and Mozart--pronounced like Moh-ssart--non-Stravinisky breakdown in "Fred Freud" or the German singing in "Nothing." What isn't Advanced about that song? Gar nichts. And you will surely love his version of "Please Come to Boston," especially the "ain't no gold" part.

I'm now the number one fan of the man named Hazelwood, Lee.

Bob Dylan's Advanced Christmas Bear

I got an email from bobdylan.com today that featured some Dylan-related Christmas gifts. I like the Terra-Cotta Coffee Mug Setg, but these bears are my favorite.

Bank of America: Advanced?

According to this, maybe so:

"Today's New York Times features the behind-the-scenes story of Bank of America's version of U2's "One" performed at a corporate conference celebrating their merger with MBNA. Watch it now, then read on...Quicktime download This clip could have come right out of an episode of The Office, but it is no fake - proving once again that The Office is closer to reality TV than any of those 'reality' shows could ever hope to be. That really is the BoA brass, and the song is performed by Ethan Chandler, Manhattan bank manager by day, sensitive rocker by night (favorite band: Counting Crows).

"The video is a hoot, and works on so many levels. It shows the crassness of corporate culture (especially those inspirational conferences) while simultaneously reminding us that artistic expression is such a hard-to-control beast. I'm no U2 fan (okay, maybe once, long long ago), but I'm pretty sure they had no intention of their song being co-opted to represent bank mergers, NASCAR, office teamwork, or dissing Capital One."

I'm pretty sure they wouldn't have a problem with it.

EODM vs. GN'R

This is pretty good:

"Guns n' Roses have dumped support band Eagles Of Death Metal from their tour.... According to MTV, at the start of Guns n' Roses slot, [Axl] Rose came out on stage and said, 'So how'd you like the Pigeons Of Shit Metal? Don't worry, that's the last show they're playing with us.'"

But the Ealges of Death Metal's response is even better:

"At first the audience refused to welcome us to the jungle, but by the time we took our final bow, it had become paradise city. Although Axl tried to November rain on our parade, no sweet child o' mine can derail the EODM night train. We say live and let die."

Point to the Eagles of Death Metal! By the way, on the plane back from Seattle, I enjoyed the onboard entertainment that Delta has these days. You can make a playlist from various CDs, and the selection wasn't too bad. One of the songs I chose was "Welcome to the Jungle," and as ever, I was blown away by the introduction. There's also lots of interesting guitar interplay throughout that I hadn't noticed before. You should have a listen on your headphones next time you get a chance.

Ricky Gervais Joins Bob Dylan, Beatles on iTunes, High Fidelity Overtness, Ron Wood Can Stop Painting for a Living

• Ricky Gervais will be appearing on Bob Dylan's radio show. It would be pretty fun to watch "The Office" on DVD with Dylan.
• The Beatles might be coming to iTunes. I hope they'll put the twenty-whatever-minute-version of "Helter Skelter"!
• See if you can figure out the top five reasons this article about the High Fidelity musical is Overt.
• The Rolling Stones' current tour is the top-grossing tour ever, while the Butthole Surfers hold the title for the grossest tour ever.
• It's nice to be back, even if blogger still won't let me put up pictures! (that's better...)
  

Mike Watt and Kelly Clarkson

Here they are! (Thanks to VFFM!) I'm very flattered that the Bossman Cometh thinks of me when a picture of Mike Watt and Kelly Clarkson emerges.

Okay, now I'm really going...

Greetings From Lopez

I'm on Lopez Island in Washington State (it's a part of the San Juan Islands) and have no access to the Internet except for a few minutes at the public library. And yet, furthering the cause of Advancement is important enough to use those few minutes for the blog. Unfortunately, since I have no Internet or cable, I have nothing to report. I will say that listening to Pearl Jam in Seattle is different from listening in New York. I guess it's kind of like Guiness' tasting better in Ireland. Speaking of beer, Britt discovered long ago that Eddie Vedder is singing "Oh I love Amstel Light" and not "I'm still alive." The question is, how did that never become a commercial and if so, if so, who answers? Also, that song has the same chord progression as "Dr. Love" by Kiss. Steal from the best, I always say.

I had a thought about Alice Cooper this morning that his music was not quite good enough to qualify him for true Advancement. However, his whole thing--the music, the name, the stageshow, the golf--was worthy of it. So what of these artists whose music may not be up to Lou Reed's level, but they are still obviously Advanced? I don't know, but I'm sensing a new category of Advancement is near.

So that's all I've got for you until next week...

Danzig: It's a Black Thing

Glenn Danzig's Blackest of the Black tour will stick to the West Coast because he likes to be near his home. Here's the scoop, from livedaily:

"I want to do shows where I feel like I won't be wasting my whole day away," Danzig said. "You're on stage for only two hours a night. The rest of the day, I'm stuck in a hotel or a bus or something. This way, it's only two weeks. Pretty much, if I can't fly home in an hour or two, I can drive home. I think it will be much easier for me to do."

"Last month, Danzig released "Black Aria II," the follow up to 1993's 'Black Aria,' which debuted at No. 1 on the Billboard Classical chart. Produced, written and--with a couple of exceptions--performed by Glenn, 'Black Aria II'" tells the story of a rebel of ancient lore--Lilith, Adam's wife before Eve."

"They're talking about doing it as some kind of Vegas show, some kind of Sarah Brightman or Cirque du Soleil thing or something," he said. "We'll see if that happens. They came to me first and said, 'Would you be opposed to this?' I thought about it for awhile and I said, 'That might actually be kind of cool.' They want to do this ['Black Aria' album] and the first one together. I told them, 'When there's something ready to show me on paper, bring it to me and let me look at it.' I'm not opposed to the idea."

If you don't think that Glenn Danzig is Advanced, you're crazy.

Lou Reed: Rock 'n' Roll (Sydney '74)

This is a funky and fast version that is, by the way, highly Advanced. He's so animated!

Lola Cashman: Subject Is Hatless

Bono will get his hat back.

Busy!

I'm too busy to write in the blog these days, but hopefully some time will free up (and good stuff to write about will happen). I would like to mention that Christina Aguilera's first song on SNL the other night was incredible! Not incredibly Advanced, mind you, just incredible.

Lou Reed at Web 2.0: The Video

You read about it, now watch the video!

Lou Reed: Advanced Irrritant 2.0

This is awesome:

"The special guest at tonight's Web 2.0 Summit was none other than Lou Reed, and you couldn't have picked an artist less inclined to tolerate the nerdy audience's rude chatter and blogging throughout his show.

"Reed took the stage with bassists Rob Wasserman and Fernando Saunders and within minutes it became apparent that the crowd was not going to let the music stop their conversation. After his first two songs, 'What's Good" and 'Gassed and Stoked,' Reed declared: 'You got 20 minutes. You wanna talk through it, you can talk through it.'

"'I can turn the sound louder and really hurt you,' he added. 'Frank, turn it up.' The sound got louder and people looked uncomfortable.

"[Reed said] 'I was on St. Mark's Place and I thought, someday there'll be a cyberspace, and an Internet, and I'll be introduced by my Kung Fu brother [AOL Chairman and CEO] Jon Miller.'

"He...finished with a song that he said no one had heard, nor could they buy; it's for an upcoming movie produced by AOL."

That is some classic Advancement right there: embracing technology, making fans uncomfortable, hanging out with CEOs, martial arts, and selling out. Also, after he treated the fans that way, they tried for ten minutes to get him to do an encore. He refused.

Val Kilmer: A Song for Lou Reed

When Chuck Klosterman wrote that he thought that Val Kilmer was an Advanced Actor, I wasn't so sure. My doubts are no more:

Movie star VAL KILMER is beginning to think he can get whatever he wants if he sings about it - after luring LOU REED to his New Mexico ranch. THE DOORS star is recording his first album and penned a tribute to Reed only to discover the former VELVET UNDERGROUND frontman and his partner LAURIE ANDERSON had booked a fly fishing holiday on his 6,000-acre estate. Kilmer explains, "I was listening to DAVID ESSEX's ROCK ON... and out of nowhere it just says 'JIMMY DEAN' in one of the lyrics, who wasn't a rock 'n' roller but he was a rebel and sort of makes sense in the song. "I was thinking about it and I called my writing partner and I said, 'I was just thinking about what's cool, who's cool... How about Lou Reed?' "So we wrote the song and it's a very nice song and then, out of nowhere, he came to the ranch, so I'm gonna write a song called lots and lots and lots of money."

There is so much Advancement here, I'm not sure what to do. But let's just enjoy the thought of Reed and Anderson fly fishing.

Gary Numan: Asperger's Syndrome Sufferer

This is unsurprising:

"Gary Numan has admitted that he may have a mild form of Asperger Syndrome. The electro star claims that he may have had the condition since he was young, but never realised because little was known about it.Asperger Syndrome has only been recognised by professionals for a few years and those diagnosed with the disorder are often overly sensitive to sounds, tastes, smells, and sights. A person with AS may prefer soft clothing, certain foods, and be bothered by sounds or lights no one else seems to hear or see...."

"Numan told the Metro newspaper: 'I've read a lot about it and I fulfil some of the diagnostic criteria but not others. I probably only have a mild form. It means you're unable to interact socially in a way that is generally acceptable. For example, if people came over for dinner and I saw a magazine I hadn't read, I'd pick it up, sit in the corner and read it - which I now know is wrong. You also don't readily understand facial expressions. You don't communicate in the same way.'"

So the next time you're at a dinner party and ou think a friend is being a butt-head, maybe he's just being an Asperger. By the way, another symptom of AS is feeling safe in your car.

Lou Reed's Iraq Protest: Walk on the Wild Side '03

Please enjoy Lou Reed's Iraq protest song, which is a remix of "Walk on the Wild Side" (of course!). You won't believe how Advanced it is.

Bruce Dickinson: Don't Fence Me In

Here's something I didn't know:

"Neil Diamond was a sabreur and the fencing captain at NYU, and...Bruce Dickinson, the lead singer of Iron Maiden, is a world-class foilist."

Actually, I think I knew about Neil Diamond (I mean just look at him), but not about Dickinson. I guess he still puts his pants on one leg at a time, but once they're on, he's wearing a codpiece.

Return of Bad Brains

Billboard bulletin: Bad Brains back in business...

"On-again/off-again rock act Bad Brains appears to be on once more. After being asked to kick off the final week of shows at CBGB with a trio of sold-out performances, the original Bad Brains line-up of singer H.R., guitarist Dr. Know, bassist Darryl Jenifer and drummer Earl Hudson has been jumpstarted.

"...Tying in with the recent flurry of activity is a long-in-the-works, as-yet-untitled studio album produced by the Beastie Boys' Adam Yauch. The set should see the light of day next spring. 'The lawyers are finishing up the last little tidbits of it,' Dr. Know says. [I love that lawyers are finishing it up, rather than, say, a producer. -JH]

"There's a lot of dubs and there's some old school-meets-new school Brains,' he continues. 'Not moderate tempo, but fast tempo. Yauch said, 'Man, I want y'all to do some old school-type sh*t,' so we did it like that." Song titles for the rock tracks include "It's All Rock'n'Roll"....

Now that is an Advanced title! I'm so pleased that they are coming back, though I imagine I won't listen to the new record because I hardly listened to their old records. Still though, they're one of my favorite bands, if only in theory.

Prince in Vegas, De Niro and 50 Cent, Dolly Parton a Day Late for Handsome Me, Kerry Doesn't Need a Weatherman, the Voice and CMJ

• Prince is opening a club in the most Advanced city in America, Las Vegas. Will it now be the funkiest city too?
• Robert De Niro will be starring in a movie with 50 Cent. He just keeps getting more awesome, doesn't he?
• Dolly Parton says you don't have to be ugly to be a songwriter. I wish someone would have told me that before I abandoned my dream.
• John Kerry was just trying to be Advanced the other day.
• Can you think of anything more worthless than the Village Voice's "CMJ Music Marathon Highlights" feature? A formless wall of scuz indeed!