The Les Paul Meets Nintendo NES

This is a pretty great hacked guitar. How awesome would it be to be playing RBI Baseball and playing along with the music at the same time?! (See more pictures.) One other thing, you should really check out Very Little Known Facts. The post about hedge funds is too great to be believed.

Lou Reed's Live "Berlin" Update: Now With Chanteuse!

As you know, Lou Reed will be staging Berlin in December. Here's some new info about the event:

"French actress Emmanuelle Seigner has been chosen to appear in a film to be screened on stage during the concerts, to feature the entire album which tells the story of two fictional drug addicts in love in the German city of the same name.

She will play the role of Caroline in the film, made by Lola Schnabel, whose father Julian, American designer, painter and director, will be in charge of the stage setting and artistic coordination.

"Five new pieces are also on the musical line-up...."

I am so excited about this. By the way, Britt, the cofounder of the theory will be there with me, so look for us. We'll be the ones with the "Lou's Number One" foam oversize fingers. The good thing about this concert is that it will be either traditionally awesome or Advanced. Either way, we can't lose!

The Brian Eno Nokia Cell Phone

Check it out (from Let's Go Digital):

"[T]he Nokia 8800 Sirocco Edition consists of two variants - light and dark, the light inspired by the hot, dry air mass, the dark by the cooler, humid one. And as it blows, the powerful sirocco makes its own unique sound - a composition from nature caused by two air masses colliding. With nature as his inspiration, Brian Eno, the world renowned music composer and ambient music innovator, has created a unique 'sonic texture' that is organic and highly evolved."

I'm still going to be mad if it goes off during a movie.

John Wayne's America: You Ask Me Why I Love Her?

This was the signoff for WIS channel 10 in Columbia, which was the greatest channel in the world. But the reason I'm posting this is becuase of John Wayne's amazing narration over "America the Beautiful" (it starts about a minute in, after Mr. Columbia, Joe Pinner, does his duty). For me, it will always be the soundtrack of a child's disappointment that TV was done for another day. Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

Lee Hazelwood: Very Advanced

I have been listening to Lee Hazelwood's Cake or Death (apparently Warren Zevon is naming other people's albums from the grave), which I think might be the most Advanced record of the year. You will hardly believe the Bach and Mozart--pronounced like Moh-ssart--non-Stravinisky breakdown in "Fred Freud" or the German singing in "Nothing." What isn't Advanced about that song? Gar nichts. And you will surely love his version of "Please Come to Boston," especially the "ain't no gold" part.

I'm now the number one fan of the man named Hazelwood, Lee.

Bob Dylan's Advanced Christmas Bear

I got an email from bobdylan.com today that featured some Dylan-related Christmas gifts. I like the Terra-Cotta Coffee Mug Setg, but these bears are my favorite.

Bank of America: Advanced?

According to this, maybe so:

"Today's New York Times features the behind-the-scenes story of Bank of America's version of U2's "One" performed at a corporate conference celebrating their merger with MBNA. Watch it now, then read on...Quicktime download This clip could have come right out of an episode of The Office, but it is no fake - proving once again that The Office is closer to reality TV than any of those 'reality' shows could ever hope to be. That really is the BoA brass, and the song is performed by Ethan Chandler, Manhattan bank manager by day, sensitive rocker by night (favorite band: Counting Crows).

"The video is a hoot, and works on so many levels. It shows the crassness of corporate culture (especially those inspirational conferences) while simultaneously reminding us that artistic expression is such a hard-to-control beast. I'm no U2 fan (okay, maybe once, long long ago), but I'm pretty sure they had no intention of their song being co-opted to represent bank mergers, NASCAR, office teamwork, or dissing Capital One."

I'm pretty sure they wouldn't have a problem with it.

EODM vs. GN'R

This is pretty good:

"Guns n' Roses have dumped support band Eagles Of Death Metal from their tour.... According to MTV, at the start of Guns n' Roses slot, [Axl] Rose came out on stage and said, 'So how'd you like the Pigeons Of Shit Metal? Don't worry, that's the last show they're playing with us.'"

But the Ealges of Death Metal's response is even better:

"At first the audience refused to welcome us to the jungle, but by the time we took our final bow, it had become paradise city. Although Axl tried to November rain on our parade, no sweet child o' mine can derail the EODM night train. We say live and let die."

Point to the Eagles of Death Metal! By the way, on the plane back from Seattle, I enjoyed the onboard entertainment that Delta has these days. You can make a playlist from various CDs, and the selection wasn't too bad. One of the songs I chose was "Welcome to the Jungle," and as ever, I was blown away by the introduction. There's also lots of interesting guitar interplay throughout that I hadn't noticed before. You should have a listen on your headphones next time you get a chance.

Ricky Gervais Joins Bob Dylan, Beatles on iTunes, High Fidelity Overtness, Ron Wood Can Stop Painting for a Living

• Ricky Gervais will be appearing on Bob Dylan's radio show. It would be pretty fun to watch "The Office" on DVD with Dylan.
• The Beatles might be coming to iTunes. I hope they'll put the twenty-whatever-minute-version of "Helter Skelter"!
• See if you can figure out the top five reasons this article about the High Fidelity musical is Overt.
• The Rolling Stones' current tour is the top-grossing tour ever, while the Butthole Surfers hold the title for the grossest tour ever.
• It's nice to be back, even if blogger still won't let me put up pictures! (that's better...)
  

Mike Watt and Kelly Clarkson

Here they are! (Thanks to VFFM!) I'm very flattered that the Bossman Cometh thinks of me when a picture of Mike Watt and Kelly Clarkson emerges.

Okay, now I'm really going...

Greetings From Lopez

I'm on Lopez Island in Washington State (it's a part of the San Juan Islands) and have no access to the Internet except for a few minutes at the public library. And yet, furthering the cause of Advancement is important enough to use those few minutes for the blog. Unfortunately, since I have no Internet or cable, I have nothing to report. I will say that listening to Pearl Jam in Seattle is different from listening in New York. I guess it's kind of like Guiness' tasting better in Ireland. Speaking of beer, Britt discovered long ago that Eddie Vedder is singing "Oh I love Amstel Light" and not "I'm still alive." The question is, how did that never become a commercial and if so, if so, who answers? Also, that song has the same chord progression as "Dr. Love" by Kiss. Steal from the best, I always say.

I had a thought about Alice Cooper this morning that his music was not quite good enough to qualify him for true Advancement. However, his whole thing--the music, the name, the stageshow, the golf--was worthy of it. So what of these artists whose music may not be up to Lou Reed's level, but they are still obviously Advanced? I don't know, but I'm sensing a new category of Advancement is near.

So that's all I've got for you until next week...

Danzig: It's a Black Thing

Glenn Danzig's Blackest of the Black tour will stick to the West Coast because he likes to be near his home. Here's the scoop, from livedaily:

"I want to do shows where I feel like I won't be wasting my whole day away," Danzig said. "You're on stage for only two hours a night. The rest of the day, I'm stuck in a hotel or a bus or something. This way, it's only two weeks. Pretty much, if I can't fly home in an hour or two, I can drive home. I think it will be much easier for me to do."

"Last month, Danzig released "Black Aria II," the follow up to 1993's 'Black Aria,' which debuted at No. 1 on the Billboard Classical chart. Produced, written and--with a couple of exceptions--performed by Glenn, 'Black Aria II'" tells the story of a rebel of ancient lore--Lilith, Adam's wife before Eve."

"They're talking about doing it as some kind of Vegas show, some kind of Sarah Brightman or Cirque du Soleil thing or something," he said. "We'll see if that happens. They came to me first and said, 'Would you be opposed to this?' I thought about it for awhile and I said, 'That might actually be kind of cool.' They want to do this ['Black Aria' album] and the first one together. I told them, 'When there's something ready to show me on paper, bring it to me and let me look at it.' I'm not opposed to the idea."

If you don't think that Glenn Danzig is Advanced, you're crazy.

Lou Reed: Rock 'n' Roll (Sydney '74)

This is a funky and fast version that is, by the way, highly Advanced. He's so animated!

Lola Cashman: Subject Is Hatless

Bono will get his hat back.

Busy!

I'm too busy to write in the blog these days, but hopefully some time will free up (and good stuff to write about will happen). I would like to mention that Christina Aguilera's first song on SNL the other night was incredible! Not incredibly Advanced, mind you, just incredible.

Lou Reed at Web 2.0: The Video

You read about it, now watch the video!

Lou Reed: Advanced Irrritant 2.0

This is awesome:

"The special guest at tonight's Web 2.0 Summit was none other than Lou Reed, and you couldn't have picked an artist less inclined to tolerate the nerdy audience's rude chatter and blogging throughout his show.

"Reed took the stage with bassists Rob Wasserman and Fernando Saunders and within minutes it became apparent that the crowd was not going to let the music stop their conversation. After his first two songs, 'What's Good" and 'Gassed and Stoked,' Reed declared: 'You got 20 minutes. You wanna talk through it, you can talk through it.'

"'I can turn the sound louder and really hurt you,' he added. 'Frank, turn it up.' The sound got louder and people looked uncomfortable.

"[Reed said] 'I was on St. Mark's Place and I thought, someday there'll be a cyberspace, and an Internet, and I'll be introduced by my Kung Fu brother [AOL Chairman and CEO] Jon Miller.'

"He...finished with a song that he said no one had heard, nor could they buy; it's for an upcoming movie produced by AOL."

That is some classic Advancement right there: embracing technology, making fans uncomfortable, hanging out with CEOs, martial arts, and selling out. Also, after he treated the fans that way, they tried for ten minutes to get him to do an encore. He refused.

Val Kilmer: A Song for Lou Reed

When Chuck Klosterman wrote that he thought that Val Kilmer was an Advanced Actor, I wasn't so sure. My doubts are no more:

Movie star VAL KILMER is beginning to think he can get whatever he wants if he sings about it - after luring LOU REED to his New Mexico ranch. THE DOORS star is recording his first album and penned a tribute to Reed only to discover the former VELVET UNDERGROUND frontman and his partner LAURIE ANDERSON had booked a fly fishing holiday on his 6,000-acre estate. Kilmer explains, "I was listening to DAVID ESSEX's ROCK ON... and out of nowhere it just says 'JIMMY DEAN' in one of the lyrics, who wasn't a rock 'n' roller but he was a rebel and sort of makes sense in the song. "I was thinking about it and I called my writing partner and I said, 'I was just thinking about what's cool, who's cool... How about Lou Reed?' "So we wrote the song and it's a very nice song and then, out of nowhere, he came to the ranch, so I'm gonna write a song called lots and lots and lots of money."

There is so much Advancement here, I'm not sure what to do. But let's just enjoy the thought of Reed and Anderson fly fishing.

Gary Numan: Asperger's Syndrome Sufferer

This is unsurprising:

"Gary Numan has admitted that he may have a mild form of Asperger Syndrome. The electro star claims that he may have had the condition since he was young, but never realised because little was known about it.Asperger Syndrome has only been recognised by professionals for a few years and those diagnosed with the disorder are often overly sensitive to sounds, tastes, smells, and sights. A person with AS may prefer soft clothing, certain foods, and be bothered by sounds or lights no one else seems to hear or see...."

"Numan told the Metro newspaper: 'I've read a lot about it and I fulfil some of the diagnostic criteria but not others. I probably only have a mild form. It means you're unable to interact socially in a way that is generally acceptable. For example, if people came over for dinner and I saw a magazine I hadn't read, I'd pick it up, sit in the corner and read it - which I now know is wrong. You also don't readily understand facial expressions. You don't communicate in the same way.'"

So the next time you're at a dinner party and ou think a friend is being a butt-head, maybe he's just being an Asperger. By the way, another symptom of AS is feeling safe in your car.

Lou Reed's Iraq Protest: Walk on the Wild Side '03

Please enjoy Lou Reed's Iraq protest song, which is a remix of "Walk on the Wild Side" (of course!). You won't believe how Advanced it is.

Bruce Dickinson: Don't Fence Me In

Here's something I didn't know:

"Neil Diamond was a sabreur and the fencing captain at NYU, and...Bruce Dickinson, the lead singer of Iron Maiden, is a world-class foilist."

Actually, I think I knew about Neil Diamond (I mean just look at him), but not about Dickinson. I guess he still puts his pants on one leg at a time, but once they're on, he's wearing a codpiece.

Return of Bad Brains

Billboard bulletin: Bad Brains back in business...

"On-again/off-again rock act Bad Brains appears to be on once more. After being asked to kick off the final week of shows at CBGB with a trio of sold-out performances, the original Bad Brains line-up of singer H.R., guitarist Dr. Know, bassist Darryl Jenifer and drummer Earl Hudson has been jumpstarted.

"...Tying in with the recent flurry of activity is a long-in-the-works, as-yet-untitled studio album produced by the Beastie Boys' Adam Yauch. The set should see the light of day next spring. 'The lawyers are finishing up the last little tidbits of it,' Dr. Know says. [I love that lawyers are finishing it up, rather than, say, a producer. -JH]

"There's a lot of dubs and there's some old school-meets-new school Brains,' he continues. 'Not moderate tempo, but fast tempo. Yauch said, 'Man, I want y'all to do some old school-type sh*t,' so we did it like that." Song titles for the rock tracks include "It's All Rock'n'Roll"....

Now that is an Advanced title! I'm so pleased that they are coming back, though I imagine I won't listen to the new record because I hardly listened to their old records. Still though, they're one of my favorite bands, if only in theory.

Prince in Vegas, De Niro and 50 Cent, Dolly Parton a Day Late for Handsome Me, Kerry Doesn't Need a Weatherman, the Voice and CMJ

• Prince is opening a club in the most Advanced city in America, Las Vegas. Will it now be the funkiest city too?
• Robert De Niro will be starring in a movie with 50 Cent. He just keeps getting more awesome, doesn't he?
• Dolly Parton says you don't have to be ugly to be a songwriter. I wish someone would have told me that before I abandoned my dream.
• John Kerry was just trying to be Advanced the other day.
• Can you think of anything more worthless than the Village Voice's "CMJ Music Marathon Highlights" feature? A formless wall of scuz indeed!