Monday, December 13, 2004

"Weird" Al and the Funniest Joke of All Time

What I love about "Weird" Al is that his band could hold its own with any band it parodies. They are extraordinary musicians, and their polka medleys are brilliant. But the best joke ever is In "Living With a Hernia," his parody of James Brown's "Living in America," when he screams "I feel bad" instead of "I feel good." It doesn't get any dumber--or more awesome--than that. Here are the lyrics to the whole song:

Help me out

All I do is grunt and groan
Hurts me to walk anywhere
Went to see my physician, Dr. Jones
He took my trousers off, told me to cough
Doctor says there ain't nothin' to discuss
He tells me any day I might have to wear a truss

Living with a hernia, ow
All the time, such aggravation
Living with a hernia
Gonna be my ruination
Living with a hernia
Got to have an operation
Feel so old, ow

Too much bad pain
Good God, drives me insane
Can't run, barely crawl
Got a bulge in my intestinal wall

Walk real funny, bless my soul
Can't play tennis and it's hard to bowl
You can't even do the splits now
Say it
Better call it quits now
Now I'm sick of all this dancin' anyhow

Living with a hernia
Hurts me bad in a tender location
Living with a hernia
Had enough humiliation
Living with a hernia, yow
Got to have an operation

Ow, I live with a hernia
Can't get up, can't bend over
Now I live with a hernia

Wait a minute
You may not be familiar with the common types
Of hernias that you could get
So just settle down, let me clue you in

There's incomplete (incomplete)
Epigastric (epigastric)
Bladder, huh (bladder)
Strangulated (strangulated
Lumbar hernia (lumbar hernia)
Richter's hernia (Richter's hernia)
Obstructed (obstructed)
Inguinal and Direct

Living with a hernia
I said it's causin' me such irritation
Living with a hernia
Have to have my medication
Living with a hernia

Yeah, I feel bad

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