Slate's Take on Bob Dylan Musical

There is a review of the Bob Dylan musical at Slate. Let's take a look:

"Attend a performance of Twyla Tharp's new Bob Dylan musical The Times They Are A-Changin', and you'll inevitably find yourself wondering: What on earth would Bob Dylan make of this? What would he make of the "Highway 61 Revisited" production number, during which a circus ringleader bellows, "For the first time anywhere … live on our stage … God!"—at which point a dancer, dressed as the white-bearded and be-dreadlocked deity, lurches onstage atop 10-foot stilts? And what about "Like a Rolling Stone," a spectacle that features a mammoth balloon shaped like a circus sideshow fat lady, clowns bouncing on exercise balls, and an earnest young man belting out "How does it feeeel?" while air-strumming an oversized sequined guitar?"

He is Advanced, so of course he loves it.

"The fable, as near as I could make out, involves a down-at-heel circus, a pretty girl in a red dress, and a struggle between a father and son. The circus is presided over, in the gentle manner of Joseph Stalin, by a ringmaster named Capt. Ahrab, whose look is a cross between Christopher Lloyd's wild-eyed scientist in Back to the Future, the Joker from Batman, and Dylan's creepy whiteface get-up on his 1975-76 Rolling Thunder Revue tour. The other dramatis personae are Ahrab's son, Coyote, a rosy-cheeked wuss in suspenders; the girl, Cleo; and several clowns, dressed in Mad Max-style rags, who are forever hurtling their bodies through the air—the action-adventure part, I guess.... The truth is, Bob Dylan on Broadway is just as awkward in practice as it sounds on paper—an aesthetic car crash."

I don't have time to go into this in depth, but it sounds like it might be one of the most Advanced works of art ever.

(Blogger still won't let me post pictures)

Kiss Take on Starbucks

From the increasingly indispensable blabbermouth:

"Michelle J. Mills of Whittier Daily News recently conducted an interview with KISS bassist/vocalist Gene Simmons about the recently released KISS fragrance lines for men and women.

'The idea of KISS fragrances initially was not just limited to fragrances, it was for everything head to toe," said Gene Simmons.

The collection includes 'underarm deodorant, shampoo, fragrances, body oils for him and for her,' he said. 'It's a full line and we have special Merry Kiss-mas boxes where you can stick one or more of everything in there and get it all and giveaway gift baskets and blah, blah, blah.'"

There's more:

"'This is turning into a KISS world actually because we already have the Kiss Coffeehouse, the first in a new franchise, that's already opened in Myrtle Beach, that's a massive hit,' Simmons said. 'We intend on doing 100 coffeehouses in the next two years.'"

That last quote is priceless. Plus, Myrtle Beach is the single greatest place in the world to open the flagship Kiss Coffeehouse. Make mine a venti, God of Thunder! (By the way, I still think he looks cool as hell in his makeup.

Cast of Dylan Musical on the View

My old friends at Best Week Ever has the cast of the Bob Dylan musical singing on The View. Unsurprisingly, BWE missed how Advanced this is and makes fun of it. But one commenter ("bestgayever") hit it out of the ballpark:

"you idiots!!!
BOB DYLAN IS ALIVE AND HE SAID THAT THIS WAS THE BEST REPRESENTATION OF HIS WORK THAT HE HAS EVER SEEN!
i cannot believe you posted this!"

Here's to you, bestgayever. But good luck trying to get BWE to understand Advancement.

(Thanks to the coolest mom ever!)

U2 and Green Day on YouTube

Now this is why Google laid down $1.6 billion!

Alice Cooper Gets His Sword Back

From Blabbermouth:

"ALICE COOPER's sword — which he lost during a show in Jim Thorpe, Pennsylvania, on Friday — has been found. According to WFMZ-TV, a Monroe County man and his 12-year-old daughter called the station to say that they have the sword and want to give it back.Cooper lost the sword when 'it got caught in a dancer's whip and it landed in the crowd,' according to a posting on the singer's web site. Cooper was offering a reward of 500 dollars, two free tickets to his show in Reading, Pennsylvania, and backstage passes to whomever returned the sword, but the sword's finder told WFMZ-TV he wouldn't accept money. However, he did indicate that he would like to go see the shock-rocker again."

Those Alice Cooper fans are a sweet bunch! Now watch the TV report.

Weird Al Rules the Charts, Pixies to Record Again, Thomas Dolby Still Blinding, Yet Another Article About the iPod, the Douchebag in the Mirror

• Weird Al's latest album is his highest-charting record yet. Now That's What I Call Polka!
• Well, now Frank Black says the Pixies will make another record because he doesn't want them to be a "county fair band." Speaking of which, George Jones was a no-show again at the South Carolina State Fair.
• Thomas Dolby is hitting the road to support a live CD and DVD. Billboard felt it necessary to add this: "The CD portion...features live versions of songs such as 'She Blinded Me With Science'...."
• I don't know why Apple even bothers advertising the iPod anymore.
• Finally, a word about "douchebag." When I was at VH1, I noticed that "douchebag" had become a favorite word of "comedy" writers and all kinds of people on the Internet. It's interesting that the word has made such a comeback, as actual douching is not nearly as popular as it once was. The other interesting thing is that it's a good bet that if someone uses "douchebag," he is a douchebag himself.

A Tip of the Advanced Cap to Tommy Lee and Brian May

I'm not going to sit here and tell you that Tommy Lee is Advanced. But this is pretty impressive:

"With MÖTLEY CRÜE drummer Tommy Lee's hottest new product — called Tommy Lee's Crank Pranks — you can enlist the help of the legendary rocker to send crank calls to your buddies. Whether it's a call from the IRS about an audit, the credit card company calling to inform your friends their card's been shut off, or a call from the doctor with some unwanted test results, Tommy's sure to keep your friends wondering what hit 'em! But beware! With more than a dozen crank calls to choose from, you may end up a victim of a call from Tommy too! Visit http://www.crankpranks.com/ to start a prank war today!"

And don't forget this:"...Tommy Lee is giving hand at fashion. The drummer is starting a fashion line which he simply calls "PL for TL" — People's Liberation for Tommy Lee. The limited PL for TL line, inspired by his extensive ink collection, will mostly consist of jeans, T-shirts and hats for men and women, with imagery from the rocker's many tattoos reflected throughout the graphics and detailing."

I tip my hat to you, sir.

P.S. Brian May has some fairly interesting stuff going on too.

Lou Reed Down Under, Thom Yorke's Favorite Radiohead Song, Chambelin High on MySpace, EMI Parlophone Online Demos, Airplane III (Please)

• Lou Reed screwed Australia's Sydney Festival. If they can't think of better names for their festivals, it serves them right.
• NME reports that Thom Yorke has revealed his favorite Radiohead song: The Air That I Breathe, by the Hollies.
• Jimmy Chambelin wrote on his MySpace (of course) page that the Smashing Pumpkins' new music is "sounding fantastic." Of course, he also said that "everyone reading this is hitching their silver chord to the Great Pumpkin Space Train!" I'm convinced!
• EMI Parlophone has set up a new online demo system where you can upload your demo. This is great because now they can ignore your music more efficiently than ever.
• I have a controversial new plan to defeat the terrorists: Airplane III. What better way to show that we aren't going to live our lives in fear? Just think of the great airport security jokes! Robert Hays would take the Lloyd Bridges position, of course, but I'd like to Sean Penn in the Robert Hays role. Also, how about Shirley Maclaine in a cameo like this: Sean Penn: "Surely you can't be serious." Shirley Maclaine: "I am serious." Sean Penn pauses, waits a beat for her to say "and don't call me Shirley," which she doesn't say because her name is Shirley. Take that, Saddam! I mean, Osama!

The Peel Possessions

From NME:

"A decision on what to do with John Peel's huge library of records, tapes and CDs is yet to be reached, according to the late DJs family. Peel was estimated to have 25,000 vinyl albums, and the collection was recently valued at £1.5 million. It was suggested that the British Library might take the collection, but for the moment the collection will remain at the Peel family home in Suffolk. His daughter Alexandra Ravenscroft said: 'We've not had any discussions about what is going to happen to the collection in the long-term. For now it will stay at home.'"

The Ravenscrofts could have one badass sidewalk sale, no? And here's a tip: if the Ravenscrofts ever move to another house and they ask you for help, say no! Records are a lot heavier than you think. Still, if they are looking for a place to put the records, I've got a couple of free shelves, and I'd be glad to store them.

Slate Overthinks Weird Al

If you're like me, you love Weird Al and you read Slate. So yesterday, you were happy when you found the article "Troubadork: 25 Years of Weird Al Yankovic." Unfortunately it was marred by what will now be known as the Smartypants Treatment (AKA the Whatever, Dude! Treatment). Let's take a look at a passage:

"The only 'weird' thing about Weird Al Yankovic (and it's not weird in the way he seems to want it to be weird) is that he insists on calling himself weird. The tag, at this point in his career, is like an appendix or a vestigial tail—a remnant of an earlier evolutionary phase, now a little misleading. It's a spray-on, pseudo-zany veneer that manifests itself mainly as an unshakeable faith in the hilarity of Hawaiian shirts and hamsters; it's incidental to the rigorous logic of his actual comedy. (My 2-year-old daughter calls him 'Funny Al,' which seems better.) Unlike Salvador Dalí or Mel Gibson, Yankovic isn't essentially weird—i.e., a figure with whom we have nothing in common. In fact, the opposite is true. Weird Al's essential service is to point out that, from the perspective of the middle-class suburban lifeworld, pop culture itself is weird. This is the paradox of Weird Al's weirdness: He's actually Normal Al, a common-sensical, conservative force. He's Everyman trapped on Neverland Ranch, exposing as many stylistic excesses and false profundities as he can."

Whatever, dude! I guess you know weird better than Weird Al! Just forget all that stuff and watch this amazing video. (I know I've linked to it before, but it's just so awesome.)

Ono Sues for Money, Peter Gabriel: Remix the Monkey, Michael Jackson and Black Eyed Peas, Patti Smith Spit Take, Sting Is Bored With Rock

• Yoko Ono is suing EMI for $10 million. She will be giving the money to the Ono Okoy charity.
• Peter Gabriel has encouraged people to remix "Shock the Monkey" by releasing separate tracks of the original recording. What, no "Biko"?
• Michael Jackson is heading back to the studio with the help of the Black Eyed Peas. On a related note, the Black Eyed Peas will now be called the Used to Be Black Eyed Peas. (Jealous?)
• Patti Smith has perfected a spitting technique for silencing hecklers. Let's just say that I'm not that surprised that she's had a lot of experience with hecklers.
• Sting says that contemporary rock music is boring. You have to listen to other people's music too, Sting! (Just kidding. As the previous post indicates, I now realize that Sting rules.)

Advancement on the Sunset Strip

I saw Aaron Sorkin's Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip last night, and Sting--with his lute--was the musical guest. I'll get to the lute business in a second, but first a couple of words about the show in general. I love A Few Good Men (and thanks to TNT I can watch it daily!), and West Wing is one my all-time favorites. But the new show isn't quite cutting with me. I guess the problem is that I don't mind that Sorkin thinks that he is morally superior to Marines or that he smarter and more noble than anyone who has ever served in public office. But I do mind that he thinks that he can write funny sketches because he can't. The problem is that he treats Josh Lymon and Chandler (I mean Danny and Matt) as saviors not only of the show but of television itself, but the fictional show they are making just isn't that good. And unfortunately the real show is that good either, but maybe it will be. The thing is, Sorkin sounds great coming from Jack Nicholson or Martin Sheen, but when it comes from the guy from Wings, it doesn't quite work out. Not that I didn't enjoy Wings from time to time. But on to Sting and his lute:

I like it. The first song on the show wasn't too great, but then he played that "Fields of Gold" song (or whatever it's called), and I found myself moved by it despite the fact that I had always hated that song. Or at least I thought I did. Anyway, I'm now totally convinced that Sting is Super Advanced, and it is time to embrace that. So bring on Ten Summoner's Tales (and the night)!

Tom Waits While Scarlett Johanssons

This is awesome, from Fox(y) News:

"Scarlett, I am told, has signed a deal to make her first record. "Scarlett Sings Tom Waits" is being recorded now and through the winter, with a possible release next spring from Rhino Records' recently reactivated Atco label. The eventual release date will be coordinated with Johansson's movie schedule."

Thanks VFFM!

Roger Daltrey on CSI, Oprah and Bono, Lou Reed From Berlin to Coney Island, Joey Ramone Biopic in the Works?

• Roger Daltrey is going to appear on CSI. The more I think about it, the more I become convinced that he is the truly Advanced one in the Who.
• Oprah and Bono are promoting an iPod and a line of clothing to raise money to fight AIDS. You can find the stuff at the Gap. The Gap, I say.
• USA Today is excited about Lou Reed's staging of Berlin in December. I'm excited that Antony will be leading a children's choir at the show. (Good ol' Bob Ezrin.)
• More Lou: There's a little something about Coney Island Baby's "redemptive power" at blogcritics.org. The writer manages to bring Justin Timberlake into the article, but only to diss him. Tsk tsk.
• The life of Joey Ramone may be getting the biopic treatment. I hear Vincent Chase is going to play the lead.

I Will Show You the Stooges

The Stooges are back in the studio, more Advanced than ever. Billboard has the story:

"The reconstituted Stooges have spent the past week recording their first album since 1973 at producer Steve Albini's Electrical Audio studio in Chicago.... Bassist Mike Watt, who is rounding out the lineup of vocalist Pop, drummer Scott Asheton and guitarist Ron Asheton, is chronicling the sessions in explicit detail on his Web site, which lists such new tracks as 'Trollin',' 'Greedy Awful People,' 'Claustrophobia,' 'Mexican Guy' [Advanced title -JH] and 'I'm Fried.'

"'O Solo Mio' is said to be 'the real ballad ... of the bunch'...while "She Took My Money" is pegged to feature saxophone."

"'All the same passions and problems are there,' Pop told Billboard of writing with Scott and Ron Asheton. 'But the problems are in a more muted style. I'm still the showoff in the group that gets all the attention. Everyone has their role. It's pretty much the way it was in high school.'"

You have to love that they are doing "O Solo Mio" (by the way, "OSM" is where the tune for "It's Now or Never" came from, which I didn't know until last year), even if they are just lifting the title. And no Advanced reunion record would be complete without a sax. Nice work!

Keys to the Casio, Yahoo Hates YouTube, Nielsen in the Dorms, A Rare Diddy Wham!, Dave Davies Loves Yoga

• Learn the story of the Casio keyboard. Set the rhythm to "salsa"! (Thanks Music Thing)
• Yahoo Messenger is blocking messages with YouTube URLs. But hey, don't shoot the messenger.
• Nielsen now includes college students in dorms in their ratings survey. I was wondering why late-night reruns of Green Acres appeared in the top ten last week.
• Check out this awesome headline I found on Yahoo!: Briefly: Diddy, Wham!, Styx, Belinda Carlisle. Lucky there was no YouTube link in it.
• Dave Davies says the Strokes were caused by drugs and alcohol.
  

Jimmy Buffet's eTicket, Pete Townshend in the Attic With Vedder, New York Dolls Tour, Roger Waters Moons Audience, Lindsey Buckingham

• As you may have heard, Jimmy Buffet was detained in a French airport for having 100 tabs of ecstasy. He was fined 300 euros but his publicist says they were on 20 tablets and they were "prescribed." And I thought my dentist was cool for giving me nitrous during a cleaning!
• If Pete Townshend can ever get Eddie Vedder to get off the phone, he will work with him.
• The New York Dolls just kicked off their first tour in more than 30 years. There were no survivors, but the tour will continue.
• Don't worry: Roger Waters' performance of Dark Side of the Moon was a "brilliantly performed and accentuated recital." I haven't seen a brilliantly performed and accentuated recital in forever.
• Automatic Headline of the Day: "Lindsey Buckingham Goes His Own Way." And he has big love for the holiday road, not to mention the chain, which will keep him together.

Like Sand in the Hourglass, So Is This Day of My Life

It occurred to me just now that I still like Pink Floyd. I also like "Stairway to Heaven," but I don't like Black Sabbath's longer songs. I like the Pixies, but I always find myself skipping them on my iPod. I would never turn them off the radio though. All my iPods (I've had three, I think) have liked Fugazi and Minor Threat if the number of times they have been chosen at random is an indication. I never get tired of the hits of Tears for Fears, and I've liked every single Michael Jackson has released that I can think of. I used to feel that way about Madonna, too. I like "Mississippi Queen" and Mississippi Fred McDowell. I like "Breakout" by Swing Out Sister, and I like "Break On Through" by the Doors. I like greatest hits collections but I don't like bonus tracks. I like it when I find early signs of Advancement: George Sand once wrote in a letter to Gustave Flaubert that he shouldn't worry that people didn't like his books after "Madame Bovary" because a writer as great as he was could not write something bad and would always be improving (paraphrase). I like "Wrong Way" by Sublime, but not that first big hit of theirs. I like bands that I like and don't understand why people seem to be so eager not to like the bands that they like. I like it when there's more news in the Advanced world so I don't have to write things off the top of my head...

P.S. Also, I don't much like the blues, but I love documentaries about blues musicians.

Kinks to Reunite?

Ray Davies, who was just honored by the Broadcast Music Inc (some kind of icon thing), suggested that he might try to get together with his brother. From NME:

"Sibling and former Kink, Dave Davies, suffered a stroke in 2004, but Ray Davies was confident the two would work together again. He [Ray} told BBC 6 Music: 'I'm trying to track down my brother, see how he's doing. Maybe he could guest on a few tracks. But we'll see.... I spoke to him before I went on my last tour in America, and he's really on the mend. He's playing again, so it's a good sign."

I wonder how difficult it is to track down Dave Davies, especially if he's your brother. In any case, I would be kinda excited if they were to get together for a little music making. By the way, my favorite Kinks song these days is "Ping Pong."

Bob Seger Is Back

Not much has been going on the last few days, plus I've been incredibly busy, but at least Bob Seger has recorded a new record and is hitting the road for the first time in ten years:

"Bob Seger (tickets music) is set to back his latest album, Face the Promise, with late-year roadwork that will mark his first concert tour since 1996.

"...Face the Promise, which hit stores Sept. 12, is Seger's first studio effort since 1995's It's a Mystery. The interval between the two discs is the longest in the 61-year-old singer's career. The new album's initial single is titled 'Wait For Me.'

"'It's a pretty high-energy rock record,' Seger recently told USA Today. 'I would say it's more rock 'n' roll than usual. I wrote a lot of songs, a lot of songs. I probably recorded about 30, but the best songs happened to be more rock-leaning.'"

I'm actually of the Seger school that prefers his more thoughtful, less-rocking tunes ("Main Street," "Against the Wind," "Night Moves) than his hard rockers ("Old Time Rock and Roll," "Her Strut"), but it's nice to have him back nonetheless.

Cuban Calls Out YouTube Morons, John Frusciante the Moogerfooger, Gwar on the Road, Bob Dylan's American Journey

• Advanced Sports Owner Mark Cuban says that you'd have to be a "moron" to buy YouTube. He's right of course. It's Napster all over again.
• John Frusciante is one gear-loving Moogerfooger. I'm always a little suspicious of people who need a lot of pedals, but he writes good parts too. Now if only the RHCP were an instrumental group...
• Get out your raincoats: Gwar is hitting the road again. I wish so much they would battle (or collaborate with) Lordi.
• There is a Bob Dylan display called "Bob Dylan's American Journey, 1956-1966" at the Morgan Library. Nobody told me he stopped being American in 1966. Or was it that his journey ended then? I'll have to go and find out.

Steve Perry Is Great, and So Is Justin Timberlake

I went to the gym during the lunch and had a religious experience with "Wheel in the Sky" on the treadmill. There is no greater moment than when Steve Perry sings, "The morning sun is rising, it's kissing the day." I was all set to do a post about Perry's five greatest moments, including his amazing part in "We Are the World."

But then my random put on "Damn Girl" by Justin Timberlake, which I had purchased a few days ago but hadn't heard yet. That song is completely amazing. It reminds me a little bit of a 70s-era Rolling Stones song by way of Prince, but there's also a little Beck (I said it), and lots of funk, of course. It's the best pop song, no, best song, I've heard in a long time.

The reason I bought it was that I was in an electronics store where the album was playing, though I didn't know it was JT at the time. But it was so good, I asked the guy at the counter who it was (I never do that). He sheepishly admitted that it was Timberlake, and we both agreed that it was fantastic and though he certainly benefited from the production, he brought a lot to the music himself. I would highly recommend your listening to at least a 30-second preview of "Damn Girl" on the iTunes music store.

Jerry Lee Lewis Has New Album, Includes Zeppelin Cover

There's a long article about Jerry Lee Lewis, who has a new album coming out, in the New York Times. Let's read a bit about what made Jerry Lee Jerry Lee:

"He was sent to study at the Southwestern Bible Institute in Waxahachie, Tex., where his music stirred up its first ruckus. “I didn’t graduate,” he said. “I was kind of quit-uated. I was asked to leave for playing ‘My God Is Real’ boogie-woogie style, rock ’n’ roll style. I figured that’s the way it needed to be played.

'The boy that wanted to sing it, poor old boy, he wanted to sing it real slow and draggy,' Mr. Lewis continued. 'I said: Son, you want this song to go over? Or do you want it to be real draggy and drug out? He wanted it to go over, and I said, Well, do it this way. Doomba, doomba, doomba, doomba, and it went, man. It went over. They didn’t kick him out of Bible school, but they wanted to kick me out. But every kid in the Bible school said, If you kick Jerry Lee Lewis out of this school, then I’m going too. The dean came over and said, You see that? You have ruined a great school. I said, I haven’t ruined anything. I said, Look, let me just take a couple of weeks off, to cool things off, and I’ll be back. And he said, That’s a good idea. I didn’t go back.'”

And here's a bit about his new album:

"The album has Mr. Lewis and the country patriarch George Jones cackling through an old Western swing song, 'Don’t Be Ashamed of Your Age,' and Eric Clapton wailing a bluesy solo on the blues standard 'Trouble in Mind.' Songs like the Hank Williams hit 'Lost Highway,' Kris Kristofferson’s 'Pilgrim' and the Band’s 'Twilight' contemplate age and regret, and in 'That Kind of Fool,' Mr. Lewis and Keith Richards sing about a settled life they never had. Meanwhile Bruce Springsteen’s 'Pink Cadillac' and Led Zeppelin’s 'Rock and Roll' insist that Mr. Lewis doesn’t plan to go quietly. His piano playing roars and crashes through the songs; his voice is knowing and cantankerous."

And if his covering Zeppelin isn't enough to let you know that he's Advanced, here's more evidence:

Mr. Rip [his producer] didn’t set out to make a duets album, he said. But once he had done a few duets, he found it hard to turn down the offers; the album has 21 songs and two dozen guests. Mr. Lewis has completed another album with no guests — though Mr. Rip said he’d make room for Bob Dylan if he became available...."

Finally, Lewis wore a white bathrobe for his interview.

Early Bob Dylan Tapes at Auction

I think I've mentioned this before, but NME has a story about old recordings of Bob Dylan. Let's take a look:

"Teenage recordings by Bob Dylan are to be auctioned off in Dallas in October. The tape features four songs made by the singer in the 1950s while he was still living in Minnesota. Dylan sings on three of the tracks, which also features his school friend Ric Kangas, and plays guitar on a fourth.... The recordings, discovered by Kangas at home a few years ago, are expected to fetch up to $100,000 (£53,000), the BBC reports."

If you've got the money, please buy the tapes so Jeff Lynne doesn't get his shiny hands on them and remaster the songs!

Dave Stewart Messes With Missionary Man Bono, the Knife Overt, Microsoft Gets RIAA-eady to Rumble, Itsy Bitsy but Not Dead, Original Pogues Lazy Tour

• Bono will be the first guest on Dave Stewart's music talk show. I wonder sometimes why it took me so long to realize how great "Missionary Man" is. (Same goes for Donnie Darko. I dismissed it because of its title, but it's surprisingly good and genuinely weird.)
• My goodness are the Knife ever Overt! I'd never heard of them before seeing them in this NME story. My goodness.
• Microsoft using the RIAA's legal tactics as inspiration? How fitting!
• The writer of "Itsy Bitsy, etc. Bikini" died of Noam Chomsky disease and was buried in Venezuela. I can still smell the sulfur.
• The original Pogues are touring America. And by America, I mean California and Nevada.

Original Flash Gordon Trailer

Yet again, very little is happening. So here's the original trailer for the amazing Flash Gordon for you pathetic earthlings (as Ming might say). Go Flash, go!

The Unfortunate Gothic Archies, Hendrix Ring Tones, Sparks Ticked About Being Dicked, Styx Not Forever DeYoung, Willie Nelson the Hit Man

Over the last several years, Stephen Merrit has written songs based on Lemony Snicket books and now he is going to released them under the name Gothic Archies. That was my idea!

I'll bet you thought it impossible to hate "Manic Depression." But Verizon is going to try to prove that it is possible.

Sparks are not going to be dicked around by the BBC. (Thanks Cool Noise.)

Styx is going out on tour but they are leaving out the Dennis DeYoung songs. But even though you won't hear "Mr. Roboto" on the tour, you might as well learn its history.

Willie Nelson is going to play a hit man in the movie Fighting With Anger. Next up, a buddy picture with Armand Assante.

This Is What Advancement Looks Like

Nothing going on today, or maybe I'm just lazy. Anyway, everybody likes pictures...

Kurtis Blow and Holy Hip-Hop, Pirate Radio vs. FCC, Meat Loaf and Tenacious D, Steven Tyler's Secret Hep C, Headline Challenge

• Kurtis Blow is launching a Christian hip-hop label. It's for "young people who love God but do not like to go to church." But where is the music for people who do not like God but love to go to church?
• Pirate radio is battling the FCC. I wonder who will win?
• Meat Loaf is playing Jack Black's dad in the Tenacious D movie. Too obvious...should be Gary Oldman. (By the way, Meat Loaf doesn't strike me as a guy who would like Meat Loaf's music. Is it only me?)
• Steven Tyler is no longer a hep cat, and is ready to tell the world!
• The Chicago Sun-Times managed to avoid using "wild side" in the headline of an article about Lou Reed. But the New Zealand Herald couldn't help themselves from using "a-chagnin'" in their article about Bob Dylan.

You'd Have to 10CC It to Believe It

I think you'll enjoy these lyrics for the song "Life Is a Minestrone" by 10CC:

"Im dancing on the white house lawn/Sipping tea by the taj mahal at dawn
Hanging round the gardens of babylon/Minnie mouse has got it all sewn up
She gets more fan mail than the pope/She takes the mickey out of all my phobias
Like signing cheques to ward off double pneumonia

Life is a minestrone
Served up with parmesan cheese
Death is a cold lasagne
Suspended in deep freeze

Im leaning on the tower of pisa/Had an eyeful of the tower in france
Im hanging round the gardens of madison/And the seat of learning
And the flush of success/Relieves a constipated mind
Im like a gourmet in a skid row diner/A fitting menu for a dilettante

chorus

Lets get this romance cooking, honey
But let us not forget

Life is a minestrone
Served up with parmesan cheese
Death is a cold lasagne
Suspended in deep freeze"

Yes, you musn't forget that.

Lou Reed Takes the Chinese Out of Tai Chi

There is a filled-with-Advancement interview with Lou Reed at PE.com. Here are some highlights:

"...Reed is writing and recording music for martial arts -- a soundtrack, if you will, for Chen-style tai chi, of which he is a loyal practitioner. Typically this music is of Chinese origin, but Reed's goal is to change things in that world as he did in the rock 'n' roll realm four decades ago.

"'I'm making it under my name -- it's energy music," said Reed. "I was trying to make music that would give the energy of rock, but you would be able to put it into a martial arts (setting). I just wanted to do it. We're always doing it to this Chinese music, and I thought it would be great to do this.' "

My lord is it Advanced to find doing Tai Chi to Chinese music problematic! He goes on to talk about how much he loves playing live but people who design rock clubs don't think about acoustics:

"'If you want the best sound indoors, go into a dance club that plays techno, and they'll kill you with their sound system,' he said."

Embracing techno is also quite Advanced. He should let somebody remix his Tai Chi music and unleash it on the dance clubs.

"Spaceballs": The Cartoon

From the AP:

"Mel Brooks, whose comedy hits include 'The Producers' and 'Blazing Saddles,' is bringing his sci-fi spoof ''Spaceballs'' to television in cartoon form.

'Spaceballs: The Animated Series'' will air on the G4 television network beginning next fall, it was announced Wednesday....

"Brooks, 80, will write the pilot episode and voice two of the show's characters.
'Spaceballs: The Animated Series' is the result of a partnership among the G4 network, Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios, Brooksfilms Ltd. and Berliner Film Companie GmbH."

I'm so happy that a new generation of kids will get to enjoy Dark Helmet, Barf, and Pizza the Hut. I can never get over how awesome those names are.

Minor Threat, Bad Brains, Self-Help, and "American Hardcore"

There's a nice long article in the New York Times about the movie American Hardcore, which is about Minor Threat and "like-minded bands." The writer pulls of a difficult feat: writing seriously about hardcore without sounding foolish. Here's my favorite part...

"The film also hints at an underlying anxiety about race. As one former hardcore kid puts it, the genre was one of the few that 'felt like it wasn’t totally ripping off black culture,' which might be another way of saying it felt white. One big exception: Bad Brains, an all-black band viewed with a mixture of awe (they were clearly better than everyone else) and fear and puzzlement. While other bands were busily organizing and debating the scene, these guys were reading the self-help book 'Think and Grow Rich' and exploring Rastafarianism."

And yet the question remains: Why can't I walk down a street free of suggestion?

Kevin Federline Plays With Fire

Recording artist Kevin Federline.

Citizen Blogger

I've got jury duty this week, so I'll post when I can...

YouTube in Trouble, John Peel's Favorites, Beck and the Puppets, U2 and Green Day at Abbey Road, the Who Get Sirius Channel

• The beginning of the end for YouTube? Or, as Churchill said, the end of the beginning? (Thank you Inside the NFL!)
• A compilation of John Peel's favorites is on its way. I'm kind of surprised to see "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls on the track listing, but hey, he was the master. (By the way, I went to see Spice World and Blues Brothers 2000 on the same day. I was in quite an Advanced state of mind that day.)
• Beck will be doing a few dates in support of his newest record and will be joined onstage by puppets. When I saw the headline for this story, I had hoped that the Meat Puppets were opening for him, but this is pretty good. (Another by the way: I once was in a puppet company.)
• Not content just to cover songs with Green Day, U2 covered an album cover (Abbey Road) with them too.
• The Who will be hosting their own channel on Sirius. I can't wait until Yahoo! has their own Sirius channel. I wonder what they could name it...
  

Lou Reed Quote of the Day

From his interview with Kung Fu magazine:

"I’m not joking around when I’ve said occasionally, trying to learn how to play a D chord properly has been a very big thing for me. The exact way to get this tone, which I can now do all the time, has taken forever, it seems like forever."

Advanced Artitst are relentless in their pursuit of perfection. That's why Steve Miller takes months to record a three-chord song, and why it takes Lou Reed years to learn how to play one chord. Some people think it's silly, but you can't argue with the results.

Lou Reed's Rocky Mountain Way

The Rocky Mountain News is stoked about Lou Reed's upcoming appearance at the Telluride Blues (!) Festival. Here's some of what they have to say:

"Even if he hasn't had a new studio album in three years, you can find new Lou Reed recordings and performances. Recently he has worked with everyone from The Strokes to Jack White's new group The Raconteurs, as well as soul legend Howard Tate.

'I'm a working musician. I like to play. It's what we do. I've been a big fan of Howie Tate forever. I was at a show, I forgot what club it was. . . . Later on they got in touch with me about Howard doing one of my songs. I was very, very thrilled. That's how that happened,' says Reed.... "

"Reed is on other recordings as well, including Rogue's Gallery, a double-disc collection of sea chanteys and pirate songs; Reed contributes an eerie reading of "Leave Her Johnny." 'How do you like the sound I'm singing to?" Reed demands. [I love that he "demands" it. -JH] It sounds like a low keyboard part.

'It's a guitar,' Reed says triumphantly. 'Yeah. It's a thing made by Electro Harmonix, naturally. One of the young guys turned me onto it. It's called The Hog. That's what's doing that. It sounds like some astonishing electric church organ or something. It's a big, big sound.' Reed has always been into technology."

In case you hadn't heard, Advanced Artists are always into new technology. Playing a blues festival isn't too bad either.

U2 Makes Their Case With Green Day on ESPN

Here's something that has Advanced Theory Blog written all over it, from Billboard:

"U2 and Green Day will debut their collaborative cover of Scottish punk band the Skids' 'The Saints Are Coming' during a live performance on Sept. 25 at the Louisiana Superdome in New Orleans. The show will serve as the official reopening of the venue prior to the New Orleans Saints' Monday Night Football game against the Atlanta Falcons.

ESPN will broadcast the performance live, while Rhapsody will offer a live audio stream. Afterward, the performance will be available for purchase via Rhapsody, with proceeds to benefit the instrument replacement fund Music Rising, co-founded by U2 guitarist the Edge."

So we have a collaboration on a cover with a band most people wouldn't think is worthy of carrying Adam Clayton's jumpsuit (though you have to admit the write a catchy song), a tie-in with a football game, using a sports channel for the song's premiere, and simulcasting using new technology. That's an Advancement grand slam if you ask me. But the question is, are U2 still just pretending to be Advanced?

Bob Dylan: To Timrod He Did Some Changing, or How Many Timrods Must a Man Walk Down

I think I might know now why Bob Dylan went to South Carolina to shoot that commercial: He needed material for his next album. The New York Times has the story...

"It seems that many of the lyrics on that album [Modern Times], Mr. Dylan’s first No. 1 album in 30 years (down to No. 3 this week), bear some strong echoes to the poems of Timrod, a Charleston [SC] native who wrote poems about the Civil War and died in 1867 at the age of 39.
'More frailer than the flowers, these precious hours,' the 65-year-old Mr. Dylan sings in 'When the Deal Goes Down,' one of the songs on Modern Times.”

Compare that to these lines from Timrod’s 'Rhapsody of a Southern Winter Night':
A round of precious hours/Oh! here, where in that summer noon I basked/And strove, with logic frailer than the flowers."
...

"Henry Timrod was born in 1828 and was a private tutor on plantations before the Civil War started. He tried to sign up for the Confederate Army but was unable to serve in the field because he suffered from tuberculosis. He worked as an editor for a daily paper in Columbia, S.C., and began writing poems about the war and how it affected the residents of the South. He also wrote love poems and ruminations on nature. During his lifetime he published only one volume of poetry. Among his most famous poems were 'Ode Sung on the Occasion of Decorating the Graves of the Confederate Dead at Magnolia Cemetery, Charleston, South Carolina 1866,' and 'Ethnogenesis.' Mr. Cisco said he could not find any phrases from these poems in Mr. Dylan’s lyrics.

Mr. Dylan does not acknowledge any debt to Timrod on Modern Times. The liner notes simply say 'All songs written by Bob Dylan' (although some fans have noted online that the title of the album contains the letters of Timrod’s last name)."

I guess all the good ones do this kind of thing, especially in the blues and folk genres, but I wonder if plagiarism is Advanced. At any rate, this is one more point in favor of South Carolina being the most Advanced state.

Kung Fu Lou

Nothing to add, but thanks to Philco Brothers. Update: Read the article! (Thanks PB)

Lou Reed's Tai Chi Master Has Made a Video

Not much going on again, so let's enjoy this promo for Master Ren's Tai Chi video, which features Lou Reed's music and an amazing picture of Reed on the cover of Kung Fu magazine holding a sword or something like it. Embracing the martial arts, especially on stage, is Advanced. As you probably know, Elvis invented this particular brand of Advancement.

The Rolling Stones Summarize Faust in Cartoon Form

Here's a little something from Billboard:

"The Rolling Stones, long identified with their lips-and-tongue logo, are about to get the cartoon treatment in 'Ruby Tuesday,' an animated film featuring 12 of their songs set to begin production later this year. EuropaCorp. and Mick Jagger's Jagged Films are co-producing the project, which will be written and directed by Paul and Gaetan Brizzi. The story is described as 'a Faustian tale of a single mother searching for happiness in New York.'"

I totally forgot that Faust was a single mother searching for happiness.

Yo La Tengo: What's the Score?

As many of you know, embracing sports, especially a major sport in your country (if you are in America it is Advanced to like baseball or football, but it is Overt to like soccer--especially if you call it football--or rugby). So it was with great delight that I read this article about Yo La Tengo, sent to me by an alert Advanced Reader. So is YLT Advanced? Let's see...

Pro: "The name Yo La Tengo comes from a story about miscommunication between Latin and American outfielders from the 1962 New York Mets."

Con: “I left sports for rock music at about 15,” remembers McNew. “I think it had something to do with the emergence of jocks. I liked sports, but at some point I just didn’t have much in common with anyone I was playing with."

Pro: “I think there are parallels between being a band and being a sports team,” says Kaplan. “Athletic comparisons and metaphors come up within the band a lot."

Con: “I had World Cup fever this year,” says McNew. “The whole game is a broken play. It’s all improvisation and guys trying to figure things out while they’re running as fast as they can. I like when we improvise like that when we play music.”

Pro: “TBS once used our song “Moby Octopad” on its NBA pre-season show,” remembers Kaplan, a die-hard New York Knicks fan. “But they used it as part of a Chicago Bulls montage.”

Con: “The first time I heard the Ramones at a stadium, it was a crisis for me because it was so wrong,” says McNew. “But maybe for the first person who played ‘Blitzkreig Bop’ at a sporting event, it was an act of subversion, but it caught on. Maybe he committed suicide over that because he couldn’t believe what he had done.”

Pro: “The roar of the crowd in sports literally is a roar. The entertainment roar is more like a ‘Wooo!’... We played a show at the Fillmore in San Francisco where we came out really strong, and when we stopped after the third song, there was something like a roar. I almost started crying.”

You make the call!

Are You Ready for Some Advancement?

There's not much to report this morning, so I thought I'd mention something that has been on my mind for a little while: the extremely impressive band Hank Williams Jr. put together to play the Monday Night Football opener this year. It includes Rick Nielsen, Steven Van Zandt; Little Richard, Bernie Worrell (from Parliament Funkadelic), Charlie Daniels, and Clarence Clemons. I'm not sure, but I believe that if Warren Zevon were still alive, he would have been a rowdy friend too.

Nick Cave Movie Wins the Second Annual Montgomery Burns Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence

From NME:

"Nick Cave has won the inaugural Gucci prize for script writing at the Venice Film Festival for 'The Proposition'. The criteria for the award, made on Friday (September 8), was any internationally acclaimed artist for outside cinema who has made a remarkable contribution to a film in any capacity in the previous 18 months."

Does those criteria strike anyone else as somewhat suspicious/ridiculous? I love it, of course, but one wonders if Nick Cave's agent works for the film festival. Anyway, the good news is that he plans to follow up with...a comedy set in the Outback! He is just itching to be Advanced if you ask me.

U2 Records With Green Day, Patti Smith Likes Her Mom, Donald Trump Thinks Macca's an Idiot, Scarlett Johansson Loves David Bowie, I Love Weird Al

• U2 is going to record a cover of the Skids' "The Saints Are Coming" with Green Day. Even better, Rick Rubin is going to produce their next record. Are they finally ready to be truly Advanced?
• Patti Smith is fiercely Overt, but it is nice that she says her mother was a bigger influence on her than Jimi Hendrix.
• Donald Trump thinks Paul McCartney is an idiot. That reminds me of the amazing skit on SNL where James Woods is a ventriloquist whose entire act is trading "No, you're the dummy" back and forth with his dummy.
• It's easy to forget how young Scarlett Johansson is, but here's a reminder: She loves David Bowie because of his role in Labyrinth. I hate to admit it, but I find that sort of cute.
• Please enjoy Weird Al's "White and Nerdy," which was inspired by Chamillionair's "Ridin' Dirty." Genius!
  

Strawberry Alarm Clock's Surfboard Guitars for Sale

Nothing much is going on out there these days, though I don't know why. Perhaps it's a Labor Day hangover. Anyway, I did find an interesting (to me) item at my favorite weird-gear site, Music Thing. I'll let them tell you what it is:

"These three guitars were made for the 60s psychedelic one-hit-wonders Strawberry Alarm Clock by Semie Moseley of Mosrite (much more about him here) . As if that wasn't cool enough, Semie sent the surfboard-shaped guitars to Von Dutch to be painted. After the band played them in a film (possibly 'Beyond the Valley of the Dolls'), Semie got the guitars back."

Those guitars would make Prince jealous! Hopefully we'll have more Advanced news later in the day.

Don't Mess With the Advanced Theory

I've been very busy today, so I haven't had a chance to write much. But please note that Bob Dylan has the number one album and Robert Christgau is no longer at the Village Voice. I'd like to think that I had one-tenth of one-tenth percent of something to do with that. Next thing you know, Metal Machine Music redux will be number one on the dance charts.

Return of "Metal Machine Music"

Great news for fans of the beloved Metal Machine Music, from Undercover.com (and Pitchfork):

"Cult hero Lou Reed plans to revive his 1975 feedback noise double album Metal Machine Music.

...Although the album was actually reissued by an English label in 1991, when it was first released many fans returned the album thinking their copy was defective. Now Pitchfork Media reports that the ever adventurous Reed will collaborate with 'avant-garde German music collective' Zeitkratzer to attempt 'audacious, clangourous realizations' of the, uh, songs for a 2007 CD/DVD."

I generally consider Metal Machine Music to be the greatest Advanced Irritant of all time, but now I'm wondering if maybe I've been selling it short all these years. Perhaps it is yet another example of an Advanced Artist being so ahead of his time that people think he must be joking or crazy when in fact he's brilliant. I haven't listened to the record in a long time, but maybe it's time to revisit it with fresh ears. At any rate, Lou Reed's revisiting it with any ears is extremely Advanced.

(Sorry for the late first post, but Blogger has been funny this morning.)

Sulton's Choice: New Cars or Meat Loaf? Plus Cars DVD News

According to Billboard, a Cars documentary will be released Oct. 17 as a DVD/CD package. Rick Ocasek produced it, and here's what he has to say:

"The backstage stuff is stuff in hotel rooms and dressing rooms," Ocasek told Billboard.com last summer. "I think it will be a nice insight into what the Cars were really like. There's interviews, video outtakes, kind of just hamming it up, and some nice club things that probably people wouldn't have gotten to see, from way back. I think it's the most comprehensive thing that's ever been put out on the Cars."

Also according to Billboard, the Todd Rundgren/surviving Cars project New Cars (such an Advanced name) is going back out on the road soon. Unfortunately, bassist Kasim Sulton won't be able to join them because he has a prior commitment to Meat Loaf, who will be touring in support of Bat Out of Hell III.

This has got to be one of the most Advanced news items I've ever seen.

Lou Reed on the MTV Music Awards

A member of the Advancement Foundation saw the MTV Music Awards last week and has brought up two excellent points about Lou Reed's appearance (which I missed somehow):

• He fronted the Raconteurs (unannounced), but only played songs he had written himself, and...
• presented an award with Pink, a moment punctuated by Reed's public criticism of MTV for not playing enough "rock n' roll."

As most of you know, Advanced Artists will take any chance they have to talk about rock'n'roll.

R.E.M. Reunion, Peter Cook Book, New Breeders Album, Billy Bragg vs. MTV, Meat Loaf Hires Vocal Coach

• R.E.M is busy these days and are even going to play a little with Bill Berry. Glad to see they're not "sitting still"!
• New Order's Peter Cook is going to write a book about the "legendary Manchester venue the Hacienda." I wish I heard about this yesterday because I had a "blue monday"!
• The Breeders are going into the studio with Steve Albini to record a new album. I hope this won't be their "last splash"!
• Billy Bragg and MTV aren't getting along these days because of song-rights issues. Hopefully things will get resolved, and he'll be singing "greetings to the new bru-network"!
• Meat Loaf recently hired a vocal coach to prepare for Bat Out of Hell III. Even if this doesn't work and the record isn't so great, "two out of three ain't bad"!
• I apologize for this post.

"I Heard Her Call My Name"

Sorry for the lack of posts, but I've caught Labor Day Fever a little early. So please enjoy how Advanced Lou Reed's guitar is in this performance of "I Heard Her Call My Name" and I'll see you on Tuesday. Unless I get inspired before then...