Monday, April 17, 2006

An Axe to Grind: The Top Ten Guitar Gods Who Suck

I don't usually like to go negative, but the Pulitzer committee likes controversial stuff, so I thought I'd write about the ten worst best guitarists in rock history. They're the ones on every "Guitar Gods" list known to man but are all actually terrible either because they don't play tastefully, they're boring, they would collapse if someone took their pedals, or they are just awful in too many ways to mention. The list is in no particular order, except for the first name. (Thanks to those who helped me compile this list.)

1. Eric Clapton
2. Jerry Garcia
3. Carlos Santana
4. Tom Morello
5. Yngwie Malmsteen
6. Jeff Beck
7. Kirk Hammett
8. Michael Hedges
9. Jeff Healey
10. Joe Satriani

1 comment:

quantum-mechanic said...

I can agree on more than a couple of your choices. Jerry Garcia and Carlos Santana are overrated. Eric Clapton's success is more due to his song-writing than his guitar.

But Michael Hedges? Dude, Hedges was one of the most innovative guitarists of all time. Look at what many of the other great guitarists say about him. Pierre Bensusan thinks he is absolutely critical to contemporary guitar. John Stropes, fingerstyle guitar pedagogue, thinks the world of the guy. TONS of young guitarists see him as an inspiration. There is not way you can either diminish his impact or bash his music. He was an experimenter, and he did it amazingly well. He had degrees in composition and theory, studied at Peabody and Stanford... Need I say more?

Hedges was an amazing individual, and will continue to go down in guitarist history as one of the best.